- Do you find yourself struggling to understand how you can be confident at work but not at home or vice a versa?
- Do you find you can easily create solutions for your work colleagues or friends but can’t do the same for yourself?
When we are too close to an issue it can be hard to separate what you believe to be true from what is actually going on so that you can create a powerful strategy to get better results in your personal and professional life.
Emotions and feelings get involved and most people attempt to fight these. (There’s a lot of science behind why this strategy I invented is so powerful, but let’s get straight into how to use it.)
Here is a quick strategy to help you in your personal and professional life create powerful solutions to any problem.
1. When you get flummoxed (what a great word) on the best course of action or even on how to be able to come up with ideas to explore, firstly you need to ignore the area where you are struggling. You are too close to it and it’s highly likely you will produce weak solutions due to this and your perception of the situation, your capabilities and even other people that may be involved.
We have a habit of producing fast answers because our brain wants to protect us and get the solution. It doesn’t realise it’s giving you solutions you’ve tried before that didn’t work that powerfully. This strategy overcomes this.
2. Think of an area of your life at work or home where you excel. It doesn’t have to be connected in any way to your issue or area you are looking to improve.
- Maybe you rock at cooking every meal from scratch.
- Maybe you are an amazing holiday organiser.
- Maybe you have the natural ability to calm a roomful of kids down and make them happy with your creative ideas.
- Maybe you can almost magically know what is wrong with a piece of kit and fix things that no one else can.
It doesn’t matter what it is, just bring something you excel at to the front of your mind.
ALARM BELLS WARNING – if you can’t think of anything, your first issue is to build your confidence.
Many people’s confidence is connected to external factors, for instance you have a great day so you feel confident but then you have a bad day and your boss says “Sorry but that just wasn’t good enough” and you feel like a failure with all your confidence zapped out of your body – this is not true confidence.
Confidence needs to be an inside job to ensure no matter what, you are resilient, can pick yourself up again when things are tough and can trust in the human you are to get exceptional results.
I will always monitor my client’s internal confidence levels to ensure they can achieve what they aim to for themselves, their organisations, and their teams. If you struggle confidence my course has 5 star reviews and works extremely fast – what I love best is that delegates say it works permanently and that’s what we want to see for confidence issues. Learn more here
3. Write down all the qualities, attributes, feelings, and emotions you have about this thing you excel at.
Don’t dismiss emotions. For some people, their list of skills will be very “action” focused for others it will be very much about the way it makes them, or their loved ones or colleagues feel. These are essential tell-tale signs of the science of who you are (I ensure all my clients learn to understand the science of who they are and how this impacts on them.)
Stop fighting who you are you won’t win that battle.Mandie Holgate
What do you notice?
When you think about your insane ability to bake the dream cake are you meticulously organised ensuing everything is out before you start?
Do you like music on?
Do you insist on an apron?
No matter what the area of expertise create a very long list of what you notice and know to be true.
4. Don’t dismiss how difficult to do step 3 justice can be. If you’ve completed step 3 in less than 5 minutes, then it’s best you go back and ask yourself “Have I really listed everything that makes me exceptional at this?” This is not bragging we aren’t sharing it with anyone. You have to own your brilliance to be able to use those skills in other areas of your life.
5. Now go back to the start and think about the thing you are struggling to find solutions for.
Look at the list of your skills. How can you migrate these to your current challenge?
For instance. If you are awesome at organising holidays that everyone loves. Let’s take 3 skills and transfer the skills;
– I achieve this by being very organised, I love a spreadsheet – pretty obvious that the current situation you are looking to overcome, resolve or perform exceptionally in needs a spreadsheet, right?
– I arranged a family meeting to discuss everyone’s wants from the holiday – so to achieve your goal you won’t be alone? Who will you need to communicate with to ensure you understand what others are expecting from you and what you expect from them? How will this be organised? Communicated? Followed up with?
– I like to do my research when it comes to holidays – see how this starts to become obvious? So, what research do you need to do? Was it realistic to just sit down and think you would produce exceptional solutions? Who will be able to help with this? If you don’t do research how does it make you feel? Do you feel unprepared? How does that effect you?
Lastly back to those emotions and feelings that so many hate. Ensure you migrate how it makes you feel when you nail something. When you perform exceptionally. Do not dismiss the importance of attaching those emotions to this current challenge.
My coaching clients learn they may not know how to achieve this result but starting with the mindset that says you can with the emotions you like to feel really works.
As with all my articles let me know how you get on. (If you benefit from this article feel free to share on social media and hitting the Paypal button is gratefully appreciated too).
This is obviously an abridged version of this strategy to get you started. I’m happy to have a chat anytime.
My coaching is incredibly unique. I’ve been coaching for many years and over the years I’ve trialled and enhanced my coaching style with techniques and tools from many different disciplines. This is works powerfully so if it’s not working for you, give it a bit more attention to detail, be honest with yourself and challenge yourself on what you believe to be true about yourself, the situation and what is possible. It’s often in the assumptions I can help a client to use this strategy to perform exceptionally well, overcoming overwhelm and overworking too.