ditch the guilt own who you are

The joy of 20.1.20

Writing 20.1.20 makes me so happy.
It’s about the science of who you are.
I always thought I was a haphazard, go lucky kind of girl, but through years and years of emotional intelligence and personal development work I’ve learnt that is not true.
You could perceive me to be that way but that perception would not tell you the true story and understanding the true story could tell you some very important truths about you and your happiness and success too.
I’m actually a person that is so organised my family joke that I’m so OCD, I’m CDO (I don’t take mental health of any form lightly however for me I’ve always found that to jest helps me to deal with situations that sometimes are hard. Like being rushed to A and E, I’m the one cracking jokes. So I hope my honesty doesn’t offend. What does that tell you and how does it impact on your success?)
Going back to the CDO Before I jump to inappropriate humour, the date 20.1.20 sums up how I like things, organised. I like things that work, that flow, that glide effortlessly. I never cope well working in a messy office and had to train myself if I was working from home not to tidy the kitchen before I started work.
I’d ensure I got on with work instead of heading for the dishwasher and hoover by asking myself things like;
  • What would your boss say about you washing the kitchen floor instead of getting that coaching report sent out?
  • What does it say about how much you care about your customers that you are doing the recycling instead of following up their emails?
  • Are the kids and your husband any less capable of doing this?
  • Are you sending out a message to your family that your work is not as important as your work? What impact could that have on your success?

Tough questions, but they ensured that I’d get on with work and light a candle so that I had something nice to look at instead of concentrating on the thing that was annoying me.

Jump to inappropriate jokes and I’ve learnt that if I’m with new people I will apologise and explain “I’m sorry I make bad jokes when it’s stressful, it helps me reduce my stress.” Honesty, fallibility and sharing – instead of disconnecting you from those around you, it can connect you on a new powerful level, but it takes internal confidence to be able to do that;

  • What if they don’t agree?
  • What if they think I’m an idiot?
  • What if they don’t like me?
  • What if I lose the job?

I’ve learnt that the right people will always accept you, hey they may not get you but they will accept you. So what about your natural style could stop you from connecting on a deeper level with those at work and at home?

How could you style be the polar opposite to others and what impact could it have on your communication skills success?

How could you overcome that? And turning into a whole new person is rarely the best option.

So what has this got to do with you?

  • Learn to know who you really are.
  • Don’t try and fit trends.
  • Don’t try and fight who you are – it makes it nigh on impossible to flow and get awesome results.
  • Remember you are unique – no other person on this planet has the same experiences, values and beliefs – they make you, so uniquely you. Own it.
  • Build your confidence and if your confidence is impacted on by those around you, the outcome of the day or the spot on your nose – your confidence levels need a boost. My clients learn that confidence is an internal job and when you get it right you build self belief, self esteem and a sense of faith in yourself and your ability – trust me, there’s not a person on the planet that doesn’t need this! I wish we taught it in schools.

Coaching clients learn with me who they really are and how to utilise that knowledge so that no matter what they face or want to achieve they can fall back on the knowledge of who they are and own it.

If you’d like to learn more about understanding the science of who you are, who your team are and how to get better results at work and at home – even reducing stress and working less hours, get in touch. I’ve a proven track record of coaching individuals and teams to achieving more. And I’m happy to give you references that you can call to share their views on why this 2020 I’m their coach of choice. 01206 381482.


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