Stuck In A Rut And Wrecking Your Confidence
I often meet business women through my work that say ‘I’m stuck in a rut and I’ve no idea how to get out of it and it’s damaging my confidence. How can I move forward?”
Well here is my 7 top tips for flying out of that rut so high that you can’t even see the brick wall that was in the way of what you really want. And let’s be honest sometimes when you are stuck in that place you don’t even know what you want. So one of the top 7 is dedicated to that too. (See how I like to over deliver!)
- Don’t beat yourself up about where you find yourself. The fact that you know you are stuck and can’t seem to move forward it is a huge leap in the right direction. As with all things, you can only change something when you know what it is you don’t like. So pat yourself on the back for knowing that something is wrong and that you want to change it.
- Really feel every element of the pain connected with being stuck and unhappy. How does it make you feel? Does it sap your motivation? Does it make you question your judgement? Does it make you feel like a failure? Does it make you feel like people are looking at you and saying “I knew she would never make it.” I know that if you find the pain so unbearably to live with you will do all you can to move away from it. It’s a lovely thought that just knowing where you want to go is enough to help you achieve it, however the fact is for most people we are far more likely to be motivated into action from a need to get away from the pain rather than a desire to get towards are dreams and ambitions. So feel the pain so badly that the only choice you feel you have is to do something about it. This also means that when you are having a day that lacks motivation and incentive to keep going to get yourself out of that rut, you will be able to tap into that level of pain again and spur yourself on. Painful but it works.
- If it was your friend that told you they were stuck in a rut and felt like they couldn’t get out of it. Then it’s likely you would have ideas to help them. However when it comes to ourselves it really is too close for comfort. So imagine you are giving advice to someone you truly love and care about. (And for the record, you should genuinely love and care about yourself, otherwise how will you get what you want or why would anyone else want it for you?) Write a list that is ridiculously long of things you could do and ensure you include daft ridiculous things too. When we allow our sub conscious brain to explore it can come up with great ideas, however we do have to spark that creative thought. When I’m coaching, asking clients to come up with more and more ideas enables them to get to this state of true thought. So keep going.
- If you are struggling, ask yourself who could you talk to and if you could ask them anything about yourself, what would you ask them? Would you ask them “what do you think my strengths are? What do you think I’m good at? What do you think I am not good at? Do you think I’m confident, Do you think you could tell me what you think makes me lack confidence? Friends, social media friends, family, business friends, networking colleagues. Who could you ask?
- As you explore what you love to do, what you are good at, what are your passions in life. Don’t restrict your thought processes to thinking things like “Yes but I’m scared of that.” Or “I’m no good at this.” Allow all ideas that make you smile and excited to stick around. When we are truly fired up by things we are more likely to fight for them. It’s not by accident that my tagline is “As passionate about your success as you are.” That is because with true passion whatever obstacles, walls or ruts get in your way you are determined to find a way through.
- Create a plan of action. Don’t leave anything to chance. If you feel that you lack confidence in something add it to your plan of action, for instance “Deal with my fear of public speaking” Deal with my hate of picking up the phone” “Deal with my lack of knowledge on successful maketing.” Etc, etc. And don’t forget to factor in that little thing called life. If you have a dog that needs walking, children or partners that need your time too, factor that in to your plan. This ensures lasting success in all areas of your life.
- The most important step with all goals is the action. What actions are you going to take by when? Get date sensitive on things. Make your goal success as important as anything else in your diary and do not allow anything else to jeopardise or encroach on that precious time. Do you need to factor in a set amount of time every day? Every week? Or are you the kind of person will take action because you have created a plan? Or are you the kind of person that can easily procrastinate? To make action happen, ask yourself what motivates me and who?
Knowing this enables you to keep going to get the results you want and get out of that rut and soar high. And don’t forget to acknowledge every little inch of success you have. Every phone call you make that you were frightened of. Every minute you actioned in your diary. You can create sustainable results when you are aware and believe in the success you have already achieved. It will spur you on. And remember….in that list of people that will motivate you. I’m there for you….on social media, at the Business Womans Network and as your coach.
Keep in touch, good luck, soar high, boost your confidence, and go get what you want.
Because you truly deserve it.