A great question I was asked recently on Facebook is; “Mandie can I coach myself?”
Yes I think you can, but it takes a number of things.
Here are the ideas I gave. I hope they are useful in these tough times and whether you are working on your own, have a team to look after and motivate or just want to find a way through these tough times, know I’m here for you.
A word of caution don’t look in top selling book lists or at the books that everyone is reading – that is more about marketing and PR than necessarily the best quality tools to coach yourself.
2. Be incredibly respectful of the process. You are working on your brain and yourself in a new way and if you don’t respect this you can do serious damage. I wish the industry was regulated because anyone can set up as a coach and bumble around in your brain. I’ve seen too many people been given out dated or half the facts ideas that have left the client more confused and stressed out, so go at a pace that ensures you really understand the process and tools you are using.
3. Chart your thoughts, possible actions, plans and actions, and ideally do this after every session. Make it a formal commitment as if you were working with a coach. I send all my coaching clients a full coaching report after our session so they can remind themselves on everything they said, thought, believed and could do and the plan of action they were working on and the goals it was going to help them achieve. This makes a great resource in itself to look back on to help you chart your progress too. (Or lack of and work out what to do differently.)
4. Don’t go it alone. If you can’t afford a coach then look for a high quality mastermind group – not public – it is hard to be genuine and honest when you know everyone can see what you are saying – without realising it you can end up performing and acting the person you want to be which means you can’t really learn and grow. A perfect example is journaling. If you are going to read your journal again then you won’t write what you really feel, you are more likely to write what you want to read. Journalling has many pitfalls when not handled right – a bit like coaching. So look for a group where you will be challenged, made accountable and won’t just hear “Great idea” “Love it” “Wow awesome stuff”. You need to know how to grow.
5. This is a challenging process so list 2 pages of why you are awesome – when it’s not working you will need this. Many of my clients make this visual and get their children involved drawing pictures and adding words that sum up their parents. Visuals are very good for tough days and motivation. Look to find yours before you start coaching yourself. Which leads me on to…
6. Work out who will be your cheer leaders, your bosses, your agony aunts and proud parents – IE who will cheer you on, who will you be accountable to on your goals and actions, who will you turn to when it feels too tough or unachievable and how will you shout to and say “I did it!” These are all critical roles a great coach brings to you. They ensure you achieve your goals, overcome adversity, stay resilient and believe in the results.
7. However big you are thinking – it’s usually still small. So challenge yourself to go back on your own coaching and check you; Thought big. Planned well. Challenged assumptions. Picked up the phone and didn’t hide behind email. Found ways to eliminate comfort zones and fears. And have the belief and trust that this will work.
I’m happy to have a chat anytime and in these tough times giving more is what I will continue to do. I’m here for you.
I’m in the office most days of the week, so feel free to give me a call or message me anytime. I hope these coaching ideas help.
Let me know how you get on.
And if you are looking for a very low cost high quality mastermind group even I’m constantly amazed and impressed at the calibre of people in the INsiders and the ideas and results they share – it is only £5 a month and we attract some of the top speakers in the world to support Insiders to achieve more and overcome adversity as so many of us face right now. You can learn more here.