I can’t do it!
There are times in our lives when we feel like we can’t do it. Panic sets in. Fears escalates. Confidence takes a nose dive and we question our actions, our thoughts and even ourselves.
When you feel that level of overwhelm it can be hard to know how to go on. “I’m not good enough” can attack us and before you know it you have that fight or flight reaction that leaves you with even more negative thoughts, actions and results.
So how can you escape this?
Here are some tips to help;
- When have you been awesome? And don’t tell me you haven’t because I won’t believe you! There are times in your life when you have achieved greatly. Think about those times. What made you excel? It doesn’t have to be the first man on the moon level of success here, this is personalised stories of success. Something you feared, but did and did well. Now think about it in detail. What had you been thinking? How did you feel? You probably experienced fear then but what made you keep going? Now how can you replicate those feelings and actions? Start small and be consistent.
- Who reminds you, you are awesome? The next stage of step 1 is to remember the times you were awesome and think who helped you stay that way? Who reminded you that you can do this? That you’ve got this in the bag? How are you going to ensure those people factor in your life to help you? Do you need to put it in the diary to ensure you see those people regularly?
- Who saps your life force? Just as you need to ensure you stick around the people that empower, motivate and inspire you to keep going. You also have to ask who saps your positivity. This is not just people face to face. Online too. Be mindful of the TV and outside influences you choose to take on board too. Watching the news to keep informed on what is going on in the world, is different to be impacted on and feeling a sense of worthlessness and unable to change the future. If it negatively impacts on you don’t watch it. Don’t allow that negativity into your mind space!
- Be nice to yourself. So many people that I work with that are suffering from anxiety and that sense of overwhelm speak to themselves in a negative way. As I always say “if you wouldn’t say it to me, your Mum or your best mate, then you don’t say it to yourself.” At the start just being aware of this will be enough. And don’t start berating yourself because you keep being unkind to yourself! Take small steps; Step 1; Be aware of the self talk. Step 2; Stop the self talk and then step 3 is to change the self talk to be positive. But only one step at a time. Be nice!
- Reinforce the good – Don’t expect to do this on your own. You have had a way of thinking that hasn’t served you for years. It can change over night but only if you believe it can. (Think Yoda lifting that X- Wing in Star Wars. Sorry for the Star Wars reference but its true, what we believe we achieve.) But don’t berate yourself because you just can’t see it yet. It feels like you are stuck in this place with no escape. Trust these steps and use more that work for you. At your own pace. Use music, aromatherapy oils, and hobbies to reinforce the good, the positive and the “Can do” attitude. I use a lot of aromatherapy oils to help change my mood. I recommend Oils by Jo. Learn more here.
- Some fear is good. As hard as this one is to get your head around. Sometimes its good to feel a little fear. It reminds you that this matters. The difference is that we want you to appreciate what level of fear is good for you and what level of fear is impacting on your life in a negative way. Notice how the fear feels? Notice your feelings and emotions.
- Lean – We are not isolated creatures. We thrive in communities. So choose yours wisely as we’ve said above.And know when to lean. Tell people you are scared. It’s not a sign of weakness, it takes true courage and strength to say”I can’t do this” or “This feels too hard, I want to give up!” Accept that you are awesome for being that honest and learn on the right people. Because people do care. And the ones that don’t aren’t worth giving your head brain space!
And if I can help, just say. If coaching is not a viable option right now. Just message me with what is impacting on you and I will write a tailor made blog article just for you. People really do care, and I’m one of them. xxx