Fear. I spend my life talking about fear — fighting fears, fixing fears and understanding fears. And yet I doubt I get 10 calls a year from people saying “Mandie can you help me fix my fear?” Why is this so critically important to you?
The realization for me is that fear is not the fundamental driving force in your life it’s what regardless of whether I’m talking to a doctor, a teacher, a CEO’s, a senior citizens or teenager – every single one of those conversations has a direct correlation with your world.
Fear can range from the overwhelming desire to look away or stop in your tracks to literally fleeing your country and the life you knew. In this article, I will share you with 13 tips to face your fears and enjoy the ride.
I realized that while I can be thinking a thousand thoughts at once, I don’t suffer from overwhelm, how is that? How do you stop racing thoughts? And their impact on your success? In this article, I want to share how I silence my mind, create some space and why it’s so good to do personally and professionally.
She could hear her beautiful baby crying but was frozen in the doorway unable to move. The crying got worse and she knew that unless she comforted the infant soon the baby would be inconsolable, and yet her feet wouldn’t move. She didn’t look at the cot but the floor in front, where the venomous hairy monster sat before her…. .okay it was a UK spider so not likely to kill her at all, and yet still her body was frozen as the tears fell down her face. “What a useless mother you are” she berated herself.
That awful mother was me 14 years ago. My fear of spiders had not been controlled for years and I was at the stage where I wouldn’t open a newspaper until my husband had read it and removed the images of spiders. I hated houses that had wooden floors or skirting boards because every knot in the wood could be a spider about to crawl across me.
At the height of my fear, I tried to get out of a moving car. Clearly this harmless 8-legged creature had massive levels of power over me but now that fear is gone, I’m never going to love spiders but I’m not going to leave the room because of one and I can read the word without freaking out and sobbing.
If you think that fear is irrational, what about the fear of going to airports? Or the fear of not asking for help?
Today I want to look at how our irrational fears impact on us, how they can destroy (and I don’t use that word lightly) our success. They can damage our health and even stop us from living our lives. And then I’ll share the benefits of fighting that fear and most importantly how you can fight your fears too.
I’d love 1 penny for every time I’ve been able to help someone achieve their goals in life fast with the idea I’m going to share today. It’s that frequent that I’d be a millionaire a good few times over! You’ve read 100’s of books, watched tons of Ted talks, attended workshops and masterclasses around the world, invested in programmes, wrote a journal, changed your lifestyle, and even transformed what time you get up in the morning; and yet miraculously you’ve not achieved your goals.
What can possibly have stopped you when you’ve put so much effort into achieving more?
Can you really share one thought and change a person’s life?
In a coaching conversation, I’ve watched a client have a look that is a mishmash of horror, elation, eureka and annoyance as they realized that it is this one thing that will define their chances of success. And that it has been stood in their way like a giant rock for years.
Here I share what that is and how to ensure you get the rocks out of the way of your ability to set life goals that get you where you want to go.
Have you ever heard someone say “Me? I’m rubbish at mathematics!” or “It’s no good asking me I’ve always struggled with grammar”? These are two perfect examples of the chosen thoughts we allow to hang out in our minds that dismember our goals and our results.
So many of us enable the wrong thoughts in our minds and our brain is only too happy to deliver exactly what we ask for. The damage is caused when we don’t realise we’ve been asking for the wrong things.
You see, our brain is a clever old bunch of cells. It’s highly likely you’ve heard of the exercise where you are asked to not think of a pink elephant… and weirdly there in your head is a pink elephant! Or of Pavlov’s dogs, who could be encouraged to salivate just on hearing a bell ring. Even now I could say to you “Don’t imagine a lemon being cut in half and the juice being squeezed down your throat”, and you’d start to realise “Hey I’m producing more saliva”. How is that possible?
Because our brains WILL deliver what we ask for.
When it comes to performance we have to choose our words carefully. If you appreciate the above and accept that we are easily suggestible creatures, then by nature it stands to reason that I can give you some top tips and tools to help you perform better just based on what words you are choosing to think.
You see, if words can impact what your body does it can also impact the results you achieve, and the standard to which you perform at.
One of the first things I did when I set up my business was write a mission statement. I did this for a number of reasons;
1. To remind me of what matters most to me. What is at the core, the heart of my business. In business it is all to easy to get rail roaded into other great ideas that come along. Only to find yourself 6 months later going in a direction that doesn’t sit right with you and is taking you away from the goals and ambitions for your business.
2. Every business woman that comes into contact with me knows my mission statement so that they know my dedication and determination to support them in every way that I can. This also ensures that I constantly ask the question of myself “Am I marketing my business in the right way?” “Is it connecting with the right people?” “Do they feel like I care and I want to help them?” Making people feel truly special will help stand you a part from the competition. Anyone can design a website/make a cake/decorate your house/write a will. But few people will you connect with and want to work with again and again. A mission statement tells people what they get from you.
3. As my business has grown I’ve had to rely on other people. One of the issues I hear from business owners all the time is “They don’t do it like I would!” That is the whole point! That you get diversity, creativity and other people on board to create a business that is capable of growth. If you control every decision and never listen to others you risk losing out. But to ensure everyone from the Cleaner, the post man to your CEO are on the same page. Have a mission statement. Let everyone feel it is their mission statement. That they are a critical cog in the business. If everyone can see your vision, then everyone can work towards it.
4. It keeps you all on track, from suppliers, customers to your staff. Every area of your business can benefit from a mission statement. It keeps things simple and in business, that is always a good thing!