Okay I doubt a single coaching client comes to me and says “Mandie can you stop the racing thoughts, its like there’s a crowd in here!” However whether it’s coaching someone to over come a life long fear, helping them deal with an challenging team member, build their confidence, process adversity and keep going or achieve a lifetime ambition, most sessions start with the client speaking non stop for at least 10 minutes (usally 20 minutes at least!) as they empty out in front of me their mind and every thought they are attempting to process and deal with. Here for Life hack I look at some of the top ideas that I use to help people when their minds seem to race ahead with a million thoughts, never giving you time to process anything or have some brain space.
We also look at;
To read the full story head over to Lifehack. And if you would love for me to write something personal for you, just let me know either in an email or through my social media.
I hope you are having a great week and if I can help, I love that phone ringing, no seriously feel free to ring me.
My client knocked at my door, totally dejected and like the metaphorically worlds problems were their fault and problems to solve all alone. They walked in looking like thunder and Cruella DeVille, grunted yes to a cup of tea and splurged on 3 conversations at once as they tried to deviate from the moment we would actually talk about what was making them so p***ed off.
They knew as well I did that it would take some work and honesty to find solutions, but that we always did, but it didn’t stop this person walking in like a dinosaur with a boil on its butt the size of Lithuania pulsating away destroying any chance of real thought and happiness.
I could practically feel their despondency, despair and lack of passion for anything. It was like a tangible thing trying to eradicate the happiness from the room. Black and oppressive. The person I knew seemed consumed by? Well? Crap, life, too much stuff and a sense of complete overwhelm.
This client is not alone in bringing me their despair and despondency and from the years of helping people to stay on track, achieve more and feel damn good about it, I know a lot of things that really work to get you back to happiness and away from hell.
Here’s a quick read guide to 3 things that could make today better (and probably help you steer clear of some crap too);
Got it sussed!
It’s tough to look at your life and be honest and say “Mmm, things aren’t good, are they?” to be fair that’s a pretty bland quote, usually it’s more along the lines of “If I don’t sort my Sh*t out I don’t know what’s going to happen” or something similar.
The ironic thing is that as a coach and someone that people naturally talk to (my children are always complaining I talk to everyone and can always find a commonality to have a chat over!) I know that my clients are not alone. The amount of times I’ve shared a Facebook Live and then been inundated with people saying “thank you for your honesty Mandie, My life has been plagued with this” or “I thought I was the only person that feels like this!”
The fact is that you are doing your best and while that doesn’t always feel like enough trust me when I say you are doing fine. If you can be bothered to read an article about being happy and achieving more you are not going to fail in the long term. When I first wrote Fight the fear, I would have some people come up after a speaking engagement and say “I thought I was fearless” (to which I would usually sigh) only for them to admit that they had the very fear I’d been talking about. We are all human. Remember that.
It means that we don’t learn a new algorithm and never slip back. It means that we don’t have it all sussed and only by being honest will we be able to. You don’t’ have to know everything, just remember, most people don’t have the same solutions you are looking for either, reassuring isn’t it! (Unless of course, you employ a coach, then “magically” you seem to have it sussed.)
What a beautiful life!
It is an intriguing state of affairs that a client can be honest and divulge their deepest darkest dooms and yet they have never considered that they are not alone in feeling like this. The crucial
point to always remember about social media is people only share what they want you to know. They may have taken 30 photos to get the one that makes them look like they are sat at the infinity pool on their own and there is not some annoying kid splashing everyone that is trying to swim leisurely admiring the rainforest around them.
We assume that everyone else has a perfect life. No cat sick, no broken phones, no shrivelled plants that you hide out of shot, no stroppy kids, no partners leaving their dirty washing on the floor, no bank accounts that make you sweat because you are too close to being red hot for all the wrong reasons. Trust me as a coach, people come to me when they are desperate. And they are so often people that look like life is perfect. I was taught from a young age, that a flashy car and big house does not negate riches. (Real or spiritual) I alas have been at the door of a business associate that has had the bailiffs arrive and everyone was shocked for weeks that this could happen to XXX. Which leads us nicely too….
Look what I’ve got!
We can spend our life planning for the future, looking over our shoulder and wishing for more. We are in an age where we believe we can do great things, change the world and still read our children bedtime stories, and have the energy to whisper sweet nothings into our loved ones ears and go to sleep on a blissful bed of passion and contentment. While all of that is true, it takes more than just dedication, passion and determination. It takes a lot of work, and not everyone on this planet is made to work 24/7. That doesn’t make you a bad person. And if you can eat a 12 hour day before lunch, then go you. The point is that we are individuals and you need to appreciate you.
Really really love who you are and what you have. We are a society that is intent on achieving more, creating big goals and going for it, however never forget what you already have.
Sometimes even I have fallen foul of this. I remember at my book launch I sighed and said “Next door to the Savoy but not quite there”
“Oh no, I’m only next door to the Savoy!”
My husband pointed out that my book launch was with the UK’s leading non-fiction publisher in a building next door to the Savoy on the 10th floor, overlooking the Thames with panoramic views of London (It made for some awesome PR!) Not bad for your first book Mandie I had to remind myself. You see we can all forget how far we’ve come and how much we have. Take a moment to look around and really notice what you have got. It does tons for your motivation, happiness, determination and action’s results!
I get a bit nervous in July when I start to tell clients and organisations that I work with that I won’t be around for a month. They tend to think I’m joking, “you will be checking your emails right?” “No I say, I’m really taking a month off.”
The nervousness sets in because as someone who cares deeply about your success I worry that I will let someone down, however as I’ve come to learn (and trust) those that I work with care as much about me as I do about them. Even the big speaking engagements lined up for 2018 and the secrets that I can’t wait to tell you about had no issue with me not replying to them for four weeks. The usual reply was “Mandie you work hard, go and enjoy yourself.” And that I think is so important as a coach and person employed to help others appreciate what they can achieve with the right mindset and actions, is that I actually walk the walk. And so Chapter 12 of my book where I talk about that fear so many have of taking time off, is really not an issue for me. Yes, you need to put things in place before you go, however, I really didn’t work on holiday. I really dedicated my time to my family and all those fun pursuits that actually lead to a clear mind fired up and ready for anything with a ton of creative ideas raring to go.And guess what that does for your success!
My book has had the rights sold to another publisher resulting in additional royalties.
I made £££’s on Paypal.
I gained an overseas speaking engagement in a castle.
People signed up to The Business Womans Network Insiders secret growth group.
I had over 100 invites to connect on LinkedIn and already some are becoming useful and I can see work on the horizon from these new contacts.
People shared images of themselves with my book on beaches around the world, many times! (Guess what that does to sales!)
I made ticket sales and exhibition stand sales for my BWN events.
I had new subscribers to my websites (too many to count!)
I gained free exposure at a huge event for my charity of the year.
My online courses were purchased.
I have been asked to write for an organisation and get paid to do it – fun!
I sold sponsored slots for other people’s events.
I gained a free holiday. (They want to learn more about me and my work!)
I gained a national broadsheet journalist contact who wishes to quote me in the future.
I gained 4 speaking engagements.
And gained contracts for 2 clients.
Not bad for not even having a laptop with me! So when I say I know how to grow your personal and professional success I know I really do. And if you want some of that my courses start from £7. Work at your own pace, achieve more and if you are Insider then you can get some free additional support anytime too.
Why do I charge so little for my courses? Well because my ethos is that I wish to help as many people increase sales, confidence and success without spending a sack of cash. And with my books and courses, I know this to be true. I rely heavily on my Marketing Production Line to grow my business and I know it works powerfully even for those who haven’t a clue what to write or how to implement it,
I know that what helped me to be asked to write a book by the UK’s leading non fiction publishers, works!
I also know that a lack of confidence can kill your actions and results and ultimately your success and so I use the tools in the confidence course on myself too!
And because I’m some one that always over delivers for my clients, for those that really struggle with powerful content, words and actions to get what you want I’ve created this bonus gift with any course. The top 111 pain and pleasure power words that make people want to know more, click the button and buy!