How to actually have a holiday – guilt free, phone off, not overloaded on your return!
This time of year our social media is awash with golden beaches, azure blue pools and half naked friends on holiday in locations around the world. While I adore sharing your moments and feeling your happiness I am a bit confused.
Why are you not actually on holiday? It’s a bit like business owners and employees who work in the business but don’t work on their business.
These holiday makers are in the holiday but they are not on the holiday.
- I want to share why that’s not good for you, your happiness or your success.
- Why you do it
- And how to fix it.
Ready?
Let’s start by looking at why you are probably shouting at me in scorn right now saying “You don’t get it, it’s not that easy to disappear for 2 weeks….” I really get it, honestly I do. I hear this from new clients all the time. If you care about your career/business you want to do all you can to look after it don’t you?
You don’t step fully away from business when you are on holiday because;
- You fear something could go wrong and you won’t be there to fix it.
- You fear something great could land on your desk while you are away and you won’t get the job/opportunity/contract/promotion because you weren’t there to answer it.
- You fear you could be missing out on something.
- You fear the people that are in the office won’t do what you would have done and damage your or your business’s reputation.
- You fear someone else will get an awesome opportunity that you wanted!
- You fear someone will get the praise for your work.
- You fear what people will say about you not answering your email/phone/messages for 2 weeks.
- You hate the idea of coming back to 700+ emails and it’s easier just to answer them before you hit the pool/beach/bar/slopes. Isn’t it?
The list is long and I’m sure I’ve not covered all the excuses I hear as to why it’s good to keep your phone on this holiday, however would you like some evidence to shock you into considering truly walking away from the office, before we crack on how to achieve it and what kind of results you could get for your professional life with your phone turned off?
- In a great book called The Decisive Moment, by Jonah Lehrer writes about 2 Israeli judges who were observed in their ratio of allowing parole for prisoners. If the judges missed their 2 allotted breaks that day the percentage that they would put forward for parole eventually dropped to 0%! This is known as Decision fatigue and I personally see it happening to teams all the time (before we work together). This is a syndrome coined by social psychologist Dr. Roy F. Baumeister, based on the Freudian hypothesis of ego depletion* And if you look into this for yourself, you will find that if decision fatigue isn’t handled well eventually you can’t even make basic decisions like what to have for dinner. (And if you don’t eat right that then also impacts on your ability to work well. Scary right?
- If you want more proof, Researchers at Yale discovered that stress reduces the volume of grey matter in the areas of the brain responsible for self-control. So experiencing stress actually makes it more difficult to deal with future stress because it diminishes your ability to take control of the situation, manage your stress and keep things from getting out of control. And guess what working without a break causes? You guessed it, stress!
- Okay, so Kuoni may have an invested interest in this study, however it still makes for fascinating reading that your health and even your ability to sleep can be impacted on by a good rest, a real rest, not an “I’m by the pool working” rest. https://www.kuoni.co.uk/holiday-health-experiment#
Great Mandie you’re guilt tripping me here and while I know this stuff, that doesn’t mean its’ achievable, business never sleeps right?
I get that, I really do, so between us we have a good idea why you don’t turn off completely and we also know why it’s imperative you do. What about if I shared how I get to go on holiday (and my clients do too), turn the phone off, get the holiday automated message on and have a guilt free fabulous holiday AND grow their business and gain new opportunities?
Would that help?
As an example I’ve just had 9 days away from my business (I’ve already had a 4 day break in the winter and 17 days in Disneyland in April and I’ve got more holidays booked for later in the year too – I tell you this so you can see this is not a one off, this is a lifestyle and business model that is sustainable long term.) And on every occasion the phone is off. I really am out of the office. I’m only back to work for 5 hours and already I’m aware of these great things that have automatically happened for me;
- Gained sales for events to the end of the year – I’m not even promoting these yet!
- Gained a speaking engagement.
- Been asked to assist with an event.
- Gained sales in my CBD oil business and gained 2 new team members. (That’s my part time for fun business because it’s helped me.)
- Gained 2 new enquiries to join The Business Womans Network coordinator team and 5 enquiries to attend events in the Autumn.
- Gained an enquiry asking if I’d like to be an affiliate for a large organisation.
- Been asked to supply previous printed articles for two large publications that would like to promote me and my books.
- Gained 4 coaching enquiries – 1 has already turned into a client and I’m due to hear from the others over the next 7 days.
And I’ve not even finished opening all my email and social media messages yet!
How is that possible?
Here’s some ideas for you so you can enjoy that holiday 100% (guilt free.)
Plan months in advance. My retained coaching clients and BWN team already know when I’m on holiday to the end of the year and are already aware of my developing Summer 2020 plans. Whenever I see a client, a connection, lead or opportunity I finish by ensuring that they know when they will have whatever it is I’ve promised them and when I’m not able to assist further. (I also will include an emergency number, usually my husbands number, not mine, so that they know its for genuine emergencies only.) If you are doing your very best for people then this is adequate. See below for what that is.
Trust. I too used to check my phone on holiday. It takes only a few minutes to jump online and check there is nothing to be worrying about, right? However if you know anything about flow it takes us on average 15 minutes to get back into the flow of what we doing (Just as good to remember for at work too, so turn off your phone, turn off your laptop sounds so you can concentrate and get more done!) This means that when on holiday you are constantly being propelled back into work mode, work thoughts, and automatic pathways, Here’s some examples for you;
- Got a member of staff that is always negative? Then guess what you think when you see their name on an email while you sip your cocktail? (And no, it’s not positive thoughts, emotions and mindsets!
- Got a big contract coming up when you get back but left the office feeling confident, you’d got everything ready for your return? Guess what? You are having that gorgeous meal, looking at that gorgeous view with your gorgeous loved ones and suddenly you are running through your working week!
I completely understand how this feels, and the additional ideas below will help you create a better way. But for now trust is key. Trust you have done all you can for everyone you work with, trust that on your return you will do an awesome job as you always do. And remember that great bosses, teams, customers and suppliers will respect you and trust that you will do your best for them – and they will say things like they do to me “Mandie we know how much you care about our success, go and enjoy your holiday and we look forward to working with you on your return. You deserve it”. Working with the right people is good for business too – I only seem to attract driven passionate people who want to do their best for themselves and their teams and as such they care about me as their coach too – they pay on time, don’t get in touch late at night or at the weekend and really care that we have a win win relationship. If you find you are not convinced of this, ask yourself for what reason? That will help you create a plan of action to allay your fears and tackle theirs too.
Respect – If you want people to respect you and your life then you need to respect theirs too – don’t dump last minute jobs on people’s metaphorically desks. If you need something urgently then ask yourself “What is this persons preferred way of communicating?” Again this is also good for long term success too.
Fire fighting – Fire fighting is not a long term solution to professional success and if you are constantly doing this then leaders aren’t leading, staff aren’t self sufficient, and adequately trained, boundaries aren’t in place and a clear vision, mission, goals, plans, actions and expectations are not being created. Create these and everyone feels safer at work, every day. Getting rid of the fire fighter approach is not just good for stress free holidays it’s also good for sustainable business growth and happier, less stressed staff – and do you know what less stressed staff are great for? Creativity, productivity, better health, happier work environments and even higher profitability! A good reason to know your vision, mission, goals, plans, actions, expectations right?
Think of the children (and your trusted network!) If I am faced with a client that really can’t see a way to change from 
their current mode of thought and actions then I will quite often ask if they have children or people that they love working with (as we all do) and I will ask them this; “Would you want this for your son/daughter/colleague/boss/team?” This invariably gets a “of course not!” to which then they have to admit “OK so why is it good enough for you?” If you work 24/7 and you are never allowed a day off or a life away from work ever again, what does that say to those around you who you are a role model for? (And we are all role models for someone). I hear antiquated dangerous and not good for success comments like “You can only be successful if you work 24/.” Really? Guess how much harder success is going to be with that mindset? Is that really inspiring you and spurring you or killing off your passion? And think about how that may impact on those around you and their own beliefs, scary right?
Whether it’s fact or fiction that Archimedes came up with his great principle of buoyancy in the bath or not the fact is that he was a great thinker and didn’t just do his thinking at a desk. If you’ve ever found your mind wandering and then noticed and pulled yourself back to reality you will know how freeing it can feel. What were you thinking about? It doesn’t matter, because that down time enables your brain to keep working even when it feels like you aren’t! I remember a few years ago I was strolling along a beach in the South of France looking at shells and splashing in the waves and I suddenly had this thought “How can I help more people that don’t necessarily have the budget?” And I just left it and jumped in the sea. Only for me to emerge from the sea, legging it across the too hot sand back to my lounger thinking “How great would it be to have a confidential 24/7 mastermind group – we could create a bank of ideas and support that was accessible every day!” And behold The Insiders was born! Was that magic? Of course it’s not! I’d given my brain the space and permission to work on anything it fancied! True holiday’s can do that for you too.
Start of the new year. For me my year doesn’t run from January to December, they run September to July. It all started years ago when I read about the English Rugby team who’d been performing horrifically until they worked with a life coach. The premise was that at half time, they’d come back out in a clean kit. Because it made them feel like the start of the game and that anything was possible. This and other ideas they put together with their coach enabled them to become great again. I come back from holidays refreshed and buzzing with ideas. So August (I hadn’t missed it out accidentally!) Is my planning month. I review the previous 11 months and assess what I want to achieve by the end of the true year end (31st of December) and that then is a mini goal stage to my big goal for July. Creating your own agenda ensures you stay motivated, focused and accountable to your goals. And August is a joyous month for me as I concentrate on my own growth, happiness and success. So ask yourself when do you create the time to work on your business/professional success?
When did the holiday message not become an acceptable “I’m sorry I’m out of the office” reply? When did it become a success requirement that you would be attached to your professional life 24/7? Seriously I’m intrigued. I was working with a team of 55 people and many lamented that email were a hell of their working life. It didn’t take long to discover that everyone had different beliefs on what should be answered as a priority, what could be ignored (reference only) and what was expected of everyone. Putting our thoughts together collectively they were able to create a far more powerful strategy to email and free up a lot of time in their working day. If you have a message that says I’m out of the office today in the event of an emergency, etc,etc then abide by it too. In this way you are helping to reduce the stress for those that you work with too. We can’t have a change in professional culture without the brave.
Automate your marketing. I’m one for real conversations but if you consider the evidence for why you need time out, you can see that sometimes you need to automate and schedule. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The same principles can be used for when you are mega busy. It’s not just your marketing you can automate. Create standardised letters that you personalise for things that you find yourself repeating, separate emails into separate folders so you prioritise. There’s a ton of apps to help you get organised, find the ones that work for you and your time management improves too!
Don’t fear asking for help. I can be guilty of this. We feel like we have to be super human don’t we? 
Doing everything for everyone, well guess what? You don’t! And if you ask for help when you want to holiday guilt free others will help and then you know you are truly part of a team. All striving for the same goals. Get over your fear of asking for help (My book -Fight the fear looks at this) and you could find this a lot easier and life in general a little easier too.
From FOMO to JOMO – Fear Of Missing Out? Try Joy Of Missing Out! I love being connected to you and your lives and sharing in your special times, your tough days, trials and celebrations, however I also love not having a clue and then meeting up with you and hearing all about it. We are so used to knowing everything instantly we’ve forgotten the joy of being completely absorbed in our own worlds. And if you are a highly sensitive person (I am, it’s nothing to be ashamed of if you handle it well. It can actually be a blessing in business and life) then being connected all the time can be really damaging. Just like the news always being delivered is bad and drags us down, so too do other people’s struggles that we can’t fix. You have complete permission to disconnect. I think that is why I adore my caravan so much. To get into nature, away from people and disconnect makes me feel amazing. Try some JOMO and see how it feels. At first it may feel alien, but trust me it will feel good in the long term!
And lastly I was in a conference call today and of the 10 people in the call, I’m the only one that said “ I won’t be about between these dates. I’m away” Everyone else said things along the lines of “I’m away but I will be answering my emails.” Not one person was giving themselves a true break. And one even said “Wow, you’re brave!” I replied, “No, I’m organised”. It’s no good just going on holiday and hoping it will all be good when you return. It’s all in the planning, communication, boundaries and goals that you guessed it I started planning last September! So if you are going away on Monday, you may find that you need to do an extra level of work this week to get even a third of this in place, but wow will it be worth it. And then you can plan how all of this factors in your future to make the holiday after this one stress free and guilt free too!
If you’ve never done this before start small. Get strict. If you say you are finishing work at 6 pm, then don’t look at your phone again. If you say you are away this weekend. Don’t look at your phone. When I’m major busy and buzzed up at my clients success I can be tempted to live on my phone. My go to actions are 1. Give my phone to my hubby and tell him that under no circumstance is he to give it back. 2. Let my phone go flat – good for the planet too – just think how many hours of energy we could save! 3. Remind my teenagers that 2 hours before bedtime you should not use your phone and that they are to remind me that if I expect them to do something, I need to be a role model and do it too! What go to actions do you need to get strict?
We care passionately about our customers, colleagues and those around us, however I’m often fascinated by the fact that rarely do people put themselves on the priority list too. Time to change? Because you’ve now got the evidence and the ideas to make it a reality.
If you have a hardworking passionate team I’d be honoured to group coach you to action these tools and many more especially tailored to you. Just get in touch to learn more.
How saying ‘no’ can positively impact your business success
Recently I spoke for WEConnect International. Here you can access the full webinar: ‘How saying ‘no’ can positively impact your business success’ I hope you enjoy the session and learn a lot about how saying no can make you more focused, less stressed and more productive!
And below are additional links to further learning and support. Let me know how you get on and if you aren’t signed up to WeConnect you – please do!
Webinar Recording
If you’d like to listen back or if you weren’t able to join us on the day, the recording of the webinar can be found here: https://youtu.be/mAHT7Zrfq5E
Slides
Accompanying slides can be found here.
If you have any issues with any of these links, you can also access them online here.
Resources
You can find details about my best-selling book Fight the Fear (now in 5 languages) that looks at the 12 biggest fears that impact on success including our fear of saying no and our fear of what people think of us here: https://www.mandieholgate.co.uk/books/
And here are the additional articles as mentioned:
http://www.mandieholgate.co.uk/stop-being-a-catherine-wheel-its-wrecking-your-focus/
http://www.mandieholgate.co.uk/the-shiny-thing-syndrome-the-sts/
Courses on powerful communication anywhere, building confidence and other business related subjects – https://www.mandieholgate.co.uk/shop/
And the confidential mastermind group that is a very powerful group for female business owners https://www.thebusinesswomansnetwork.co.uk/bwn-insider-benefits/ – a great way to access a coach 24/7!
If you found the webinar useful and are able to leave a review on Linkedin or Google that would be greatly appreciated.
Mandie offers team coaching, 1 to 1 coaching and mentoring to help women and their teams achieve more and is very happy to offer a discount for all our WEConnect International webinar attendees (not reviews). Please contact her to avail of this!
Please Register!
Finally, if you have not yet registered your business with WEConnect International, you can register with us for free online here: https://weconnectinternational.org/en/womens-business-enterprises/self-registration.
Jay McLeod
eNetwork and Operations Manager for Europe
WEConnect International
How to turn conversations into customers
Have you ever walked away from conversations thinking “Why didn’t I say that!”? or found that you lose your true voice when talking business or waffle on and then think “Why did I say that!” or that you wish the ground would swallow you up when asked “what do you do?” or “speak for 60 seconds about your business”? Do you struggle to find the right words to turn a conversation into a customer? 
Communication can be incredibly powerful for enabling a contact to turn into a client. In this article, I would like to share with you 8 top tips to be a compelling, confident communicator that does not fear the competition and can speak powerfully to anyone, anywhere.
I see people in business make fatal errors in the way they communicate, when I host a training session on this Conversations into Customers topic I often get them started with the simple question “What do you do?” Because unless you can tell someone what you do in less than 20 seconds, you risk not engaging with that new connection. Ideally, if you learn this skill and the science behind what could be powerful for you to say, people will be saying things like “that’s interesting, how did you get to that? or “How does that work, tell me more?
Top Tips to turning conversations into customers;
- Your perception of reality Before we even look at what you say and how you say it you need to appreciate your own perception of the world around you. Because your perception of reality will differ from anyone else’s, when I present this topic as a speaking engagement I will often the audience to describe the room to me in one word. There are always various words called out, rarely any two the same and they can range from descriptions of the decor to comments on its cleanliness and the height of the ceilings to the temperature and comments on the people in the room. This showcases to people that what we think everyone else is concentrating on is rarely the same as us.That’s because we forget that our perception of reality is different to everyone else’s. Our brains filter out information. Our eyes have millions of rods and cones in them that help us created our image of the world around us, and research has proved that while we used to think that we only saw what we needed to see, studies tell us that our brain see’s everything but only gives us the information that it feels is relevant to us. And your perception of reality that your brain brings you is distorted in part by your beliefs and experiences in life.
- Hot Buttons. By knowing what your hot buttons are you can ensure that
you control the way you communicate around these areas. What things get you riled up? What do you have definite opinions on? What are you passionate about? Imagine you are speaking with someone at a networking event or party and you are passionate about exercise and healthy living, what you don’t know is the person you are talking to has just lost a loved one at a very young age and they too had been keen on health and fitness. How well do you think you are likely to connect on a level that allows the conversation to progress from the shallow to the deeper level of connection if you speak passionately about this topic? Our passions are our passions, not necessarily everyone else’s, so as my Hubby’s Teacher used to say “Wind your neck in” ie, great you’ve got an opinion, now stop force feeding it to everyone else. Don’t get me wrong passion is essential for your personal and professional success, however, expecting another to feel as passionate about it as someone else can lead to alienation. (And that bored look!) And that is not good for powerful conversations.Take a moment to write them down. - Confidence. If you want to turn conversations into clients you need to boost your confidence. And first things first I want to teach you is the scariest word in the world. Showcasing how to devalue the pain that this word can mean to us is often carried out by encouraging people to get into pairs and take in turn to just say No over and over to each other in different styles, with different tonality and in different speeds. What this does is enable people to see how much gravitas people give to this word. You see in your professional life so many people hear no and instead of hearing two letters they hear something like “No, go away we hate you and never darken our doorstep again.” or “No you smell.” The word has had a strong meaning to us since we were born, and so for many we still have in built conceptions about what that no is saying to us. It can seriously damage your ability to communicate powerfully if you are expecting a no, and cant’ handle that. Take the fear out of that word.
- Turning a no into a yes exercise. Take a piece of paper and create this table. Write a long list of the reasons people say no to you. Now the way to make this exercise powerful is instead of you replying, think of the client that loves everything you do, never pays late, recommends you to their friends, etc etc, they know why they buy from you and that information is powerful to your communication.
What reasons do people give for saying No? Perfect Client What would your perfect client say in reply to this No?
(Not what you would say)
Too expensive You won’t regret spending a penny because this works? I don’t have the time Making the time to do this will save you thousands in the no time and could increase profit. Look through your table, what pain and pleasure words have you created. If you have bought a course recently you will have received the free gift with 111 pain and pleasure words that can make your communications and marketing more powerful. This above exercise will help you to start to create that list. Knowing the powerful words for your target audience is critical to knowing how to engage powerfully.
- Find your true voice I often hear people use my words and phrases and it sounds a little daft. They copy me word for word and it sounds wrong. Why? Because when I’m speaking I am known for being bouncing across the stage, acting and inspiring (Think Tigger on Redbull powered by Duracell) I do have a lot of fun and get the audience, not ly involved, but engaged and thinking due to my laid back style. As such I communicate in a certain way. Someone who is very serious, or who lacks confidence is going to not connect with their target audience with my style, and vice versa. You need to appreciate what do you stand for? What do you want? What is your mission statement? What is our ethos? It doesn’t have to be the same as other people. And by finding your true voice, talking about what matters to you, you will build confidence in yourself because you will naturally be attracting your target audience. Showcasing what you are passionate about enables others to experience that passion too. Just remember to wind your neck in at the right time!
- Listen. There are many benefits to this, however, the 2 that we will look at today are that 1) It enables
the person you are talking to feel respected and cared for. And by making someone feel like this you can start to build rapport. 2) You get powerful clues on what to say to power up the conversation. For instance, if someone speaks in detail you will know that this matters to them (so in an email, later on, to follow up ensure you get grammar correct, no apostrophes where they shouldn’t be or mixing up your there, their, they’re! It also enables you to use their own words in the conversation too which not only builds rapport it is also a form of mirroring. Let’s look at that more… - Mirroring Powerful body language to connect is not just about body language. Matching someone speed of communication and utilising on their words will also help you connect on a deeper level. Just remember if you overdo this it can feel creepy. Not sure your natural speed of communication? While it can differ on whom you are talking with, you will have a natural style and become aware of this you will be able to note when you may need to speed up or slow down. If I use my normal voice (for instance) which is quite fast, full of gestures and energy and passion, and I’m communicating with someone who clearly lacks confidence, could be shy and have fears that they wish to speak with me about, if I use my natural way of communication, I’m likely to make that person feel like a bunny trapped in headlights. I need to slow it down, speak quieter and give that person lots of space to speak at the space with their own thoughts. So consider your natural style and how this could impact on powerful communications? By using Top tip 6 and 7 this is not only powerful face to face you can then ensure that this is someone who could be an awesome client for you that you utilise that style of communicating in your online communications too. Would it work in your marketing because this is a style that you note applies to a lot of your clients?
- Ask for it. Lastly, something I think many people are scared to do (in part due to top tip Number 3) is asking for what they want. I appreciate its scary to do because what if they do say No? The thing about No’s is they give you powerful information for your marketing and to gain other clients. No is “rarely no thank you go away”, it is often “no thank you we are too busy with this, could you contact us in 6 months”, or “no we’ve happy with our current supplier” (that again was not a no forever, your competitor may make a mistake and then if you’ve communicated powerfully with them they may give you a chance) By appreciating that no’s are fountains of knowledge in disguise you can learn what leads to a yes. And this doesn’t
mean hiding behind copious mountains of email! Pick up the phone, arrange a meeting, be concise, be honest, and ask for it. If you have qualified the person you are speaking to and you know they want what you do if you have used the powerful language and you have listened one thing that people are very good at not doing is asking for what they want. If you don’t want to do this, try asking in different ways to people you know will give you an honest answer on your style of communication. For instance, on the Insiders (a group I vigilate and coach its members on confidentially) you could trail the way in which you ask. ie “We’ve noticed you use X, did you know there is a way of making these that stops you getting that problem you are getting here? Could that be interesting to you?” or “Do you use x in your business, is it something you could see yourself trialling?” Trial different questions and see what feels comfortable, however, be confident to ask for what you want, the no’s lead you to the yes’s with the right language.
So remember to remove the fear from the word No, build your confidence (and if that is still tricky I’ve a course that you can work on at your own pace to help boost yours, learn more here) appreciate your perception of the world and how it could impact on conversations, learn to listen powerfully and mirror other people in tonality, words and speed. Get over your fear of asking for it (which is probably connected to your fear of what they may think – both of which are covered in my new book Fight the fear – how to beat your negative mindset and win in life.) And if you want to know if you are winning on this. Use the pain and pleasure power words from your list or the gift I give with every course to create a powerful sentence that trips up so many people….”What do you do?” Feel free to share what you decide on my social media. And if you are bit scared to do that, why not post on the Insiders for a bit of confidential feedback? And if the confidence is rocketing, what about sharing on Facebook live!
How to turn Conversations into Customer
Notes;
Compelling, confident and capable speaker
Why didn’t I say that?
Why did I say that?
Or what did I say!
Simple questions can be a mine field. What do you do? And you ramble on for five minutes instead of reply that in 20 seconds gets them interested enough to want to know more.
First we need to consider not what we say but how we see the world
Pee forget our perception of reality is different to everyone else’s.
Brains filer out information.
Millions of rods and cones, research proved that we used to think our brain only saw what we needed to see in actual fact the brain sees everything and filters out what it thinks is not relevant.
Need a pad, meeting at one, next thing you know you are spotting gorgeous shoes
What does that have to do with powerful communications? Your perceptions are distorted by your beliefs and experiences and values
So realities differ.
Hot buttons. What riles you up? What are you passionate about? What do you have definite opinions on?
Being aware of your views on everything from Family, friends, sex, to business impacts on how you communicate.
Exercise – you love others hate.
Moment to write down what you think they may be. Need some help?
Next lets look at how to feel confident. Let’s look at the most scariest word in the world. No I want to de-fear you to this word because its part and parcel of running a business.
Get in pairs and say no – How did it feel?
Lower the fear factor. How to turn a no into a yes. This helps you find your pain and pleasure power words – my course for 111 of them These need to feature in your marketing and conversations.
Find your true voice – don’t say other peoples words, I hear people copy me word for word and it sounds daft. Find your own voice. What do you stand for? What is your mission statement? Know your values?
It doesn’t’ have to be the same as other people. By talking about what matters and using your true voice not only will you gain your own following which boosts your confidence you will natural attract the right target audience too.
Listen – 2 reasons – 1 gives respect and shows you care 2 powerful clues on what to say to power up your conversation.
This enables you to mirror body language with their words.
Adjust the speed you speak at. In pairs speak fast and slow – how did it feel?
Trial the speed you speak and be aware of other peoples choice of speed, pace, tonality.
Use in marketing and if someone likes detail in conversation be aware of that for your emails – you don’t want to get your there their and they’re mixed up and risk alienating them.
Ask for what you want. Women don’t ask for what they want.
Trial how you say it. The insiders is a great place for this.
How can I help you further.