I’ve presented hundreds of presentations on powerful public speaking and communication skills although today took a slightly different angle and wow was it powerful!
The irony is never lost on me that 15 years ago I couldn’t (and wouldn’t!) speak to a large audience. I was the person pretending she had a call just as it was my turn to talk. My fear was not just in my head, it manifested itself as a closed throat, a red face, a heart that felt like it was trying to escape and the inability to even remember my name let alone something useful, relevant or interesting to say!
While I could sell ice to Eskimo’s on a 1 to 1 basis (My boss’s word’s not mine) or in the good old letter format, my skills had not grown to actually communicating with people in groups. That had to change if I was going to succeed…
So over the years I read books, studied, went on courses, listened to a plethora of experts (and realised a few of those knew little more than me they just had the confidence to stand up and recite the same stuff I’d read!) and wind forward to January 2019 you could phone me and say “We’ve been let down and we need a speaker for tomorrow!” And I’d say “Great, see you at 9!”
I wouldn’t be panicking about;
Things have changed drastically. And having coached thousands to overcome their fears of public speaking I can say with hand on heart that I can fight the fear of public speaking for you too and help anyone become a better speaker.
So what was so powerful today and how can you benefit too?
There are a ton of things that I touched on today including how with the right body language you can talk gibberish and still get a positive outcome.
And that being comfortable in your own skin comes down to constantly re-evaluating your own emotional intelligence and checking who you think you are and what you think is going on. Our perception of reality and assumptions can cost us dearly.
And that the confidence to love who you are makes you concentrate on successes which help release the right biological chemicals which then helps you further to come across as the passionate, successful, powerful person that everyone should know and not as the bumbling brain fried fool that you feel you become on a stage.
Whether you feel your presentation skills need a boost, you are so awful at it you’d rather chew off your right arm or you feel you are damaging your success because of something you feel you do (or don’t do!) I’m happy to have a chat anytime.
And if you are on the Insiders I will add some work sheets that we touched on too. I love to over deliver, because I never want anyone else to wish their gall bladder would explode to get them out of a speaking engagement, as I did.
Not one person.
An interesting little question that I helped a client create this week has had massive levels of impact on their chosen thoughts and actions and as result impacted on their performance.
It is like a little algorithm that I’ve found working on myself and other clients too. It is this;
“If I choose to drop xxx then I can choose to get xxx”
Interestingly as a coach I’ve helped people to;
The fact is this little algorithm, works powerfully in so many ways for so many people.
As so many great thinkers, leaders and philosophers over time have proved time and time again it is when we can explain things in their simplest format that we are able to understand the most.
And with this little algorithm, it enables a client to get to what really is holding them back in their ambitions, dreams and big goals for success.
That little algorithm is very beautiful and perfect. It makes my work sound so easy and simple. It is in the process that we create that the client can use that algorithm with power to get what they want in life. My clients are all incredible, finding their own way to process what is going on in their head.
Together we create something very powerful, even more powerful than an algorithm!
Have you ever walked away from conversations thinking “Why didn’t I say that!”? or found that you lose your true voice when talking business or waffle on and then think “Why did I say that!” or that you wish the ground would swallow you up when asked “what do you do?” or “speak for 60 seconds about your business”? Do you struggle to find the right words to turn a conversation into a customer?
Communication can be incredibly powerful for enabling a contact to turn into a client. In this article, I would like to share with you 8 top tips to be a compelling, confident communicator that does not fear the competition and can speak powerfully to anyone, anywhere.
I see people in business make fatal errors in the way they communicate, when I host a training session on this Conversations into Customers topic I often get them started with the simple question “What do you do?” Because unless you can tell someone what you do in less than 20 seconds, you risk not engaging with that new connection. Ideally, if you learn this skill and the science behind what could be powerful for you to say, people will be saying things like “that’s interesting, how did you get to that? or “How does that work, tell me more?
|What reasons do people give for saying No?||Perfect Client||
What would your perfect client say in reply to this No?
(Not what you would say)
|Too expensive||You won’t regret spending a penny because this works?|
|I don’t have the time||Making the time to do this will save you thousands in the no time and could increase profit.|
Look through your table, what pain and pleasure words have you created. If you have bought a course recently you will have received the free gift with 111 pain and pleasure words that can make your communications and marketing more powerful. This above exercise will help you to start to create that list. Knowing the powerful words for your target audience is critical to knowing how to engage powerfully.
So remember to remove the fear from the word No, build your confidence (and if that is still tricky I’ve a course that you can work on at your own pace to help boost yours, learn more here) appreciate your perception of the world and how it could impact on conversations, learn to listen powerfully and mirror other people in tonality, words and speed. Get over your fear of asking for it (which is probably connected to your fear of what they may think – both of which are covered in my new book Fight the fear – how to beat your negative mindset and win in life.) And if you want to know if you are winning on this. Use the pain and pleasure power words from your list or the gift I give with every course to create a powerful sentence that trips up so many people….”What do you do?” Feel free to share what you decide on my social media. And if you are bit scared to do that, why not post on the Insiders for a bit of confidential feedback? And if the confidence is rocketing, what about sharing on Facebook live!
How to turn Conversations into Customer
Compelling, confident and capable speaker
Why didn’t I say that?
Why did I say that?
Or what did I say!
Simple questions can be a mine field. What do you do? And you ramble on for five minutes instead of reply that in 20 seconds gets them interested enough to want to know more.
First we need to consider not what we say but how we see the world
Pee forget our perception of reality is different to everyone else’s.
Brains filer out information.
Millions of rods and cones, research proved that we used to think our brain only saw what we needed to see in actual fact the brain sees everything and filters out what it thinks is not relevant.
Need a pad, meeting at one, next thing you know you are spotting gorgeous shoes
What does that have to do with powerful communications? Your perceptions are distorted by your beliefs and experiences and values
So realities differ.
Hot buttons. What riles you up? What are you passionate about? What do you have definite opinions on?
Being aware of your views on everything from Family, friends, sex, to business impacts on how you communicate.
Exercise – you love others hate.
Moment to write down what you think they may be. Need some help?
Next lets look at how to feel confident. Let’s look at the most scariest word in the world. No I want to de-fear you to this word because its part and parcel of running a business.
Get in pairs and say no – How did it feel?
Lower the fear factor. How to turn a no into a yes. This helps you find your pain and pleasure power words – my course for 111 of them These need to feature in your marketing and conversations.
Find your true voice – don’t say other peoples words, I hear people copy me word for word and it sounds daft. Find your own voice. What do you stand for? What is your mission statement? Know your values?
It doesn’t’ have to be the same as other people. By talking about what matters and using your true voice not only will you gain your own following which boosts your confidence you will natural attract the right target audience too.
Listen – 2 reasons – 1 gives respect and shows you care 2 powerful clues on what to say to power up your conversation.
This enables you to mirror body language with their words.
Adjust the speed you speak at. In pairs speak fast and slow – how did it feel?
Trial the speed you speak and be aware of other peoples choice of speed, pace, tonality.
Use in marketing and if someone likes detail in conversation be aware of that for your emails – you don’t want to get your there their and they’re mixed up and risk alienating them.
Ask for what you want. Women don’t ask for what they want.
Trial how you say it. The insiders is a great place for this.
How can I help you further.
Not the best headline right?
But it got your attention no doubt!
The fact is we all have days where we actually say this kind of thing to ourselves.
We look in the mirror and we berate our appearance, we moan at our stomach’s, our thighs or our wrinkles. Now let me ask you this, “Is that likely to power up your day or rob you of your inner strength, belief and confidence?
And now with my business coach wanting more success for you hat on What does that do to your success rate? To your ability to pick up the phone and ask for the sale? To present and win that contract? To get out there and make it happen?
I say this because this week I shared with a vibrant, vivacious, professional business woman who during our session confessed to feeling like she was a “bit of a fraud” and so when the coaching session had finished, (I never interrupt a clients thoughts with my own, I only share after the session if they wish me to) I shared with her something rather personal.
I told her how I had just stood up in front of a room full of business women and I said I knew to those business women I’m a professional natural public speaker who oozes confidence. I know those business women see me that way because many come up to me after a public speaking engagement and say “I wish I could stand up there and be a natural like you.” I told this business woman how on this occasion I had to employ my own public speaking tricks to get me through it. This lady had been in the audience and she looked shocked. “Really?” she said. “You!” It shocked her that I could feel anything other than confident and successful. So I shared with her what I share with you now and it is personal, but I share so that you can see that it effects every single woman. From the Mum at the school gate and the Home Secretary to the business women about to present;
I have Lupus and its a balancing act to look after my health, the medicines and also ignore it all and get on with my wonderful life. My theory is I’m having far too much fun to pay attention to an illness. But it can be a bit tough when your hairs falling out, your face turns into a balloon and you struggle with a ton of rather un fun side effects from the drugs and Lupus. Most of the time I smile and say “Hey I’m not stuck in bed on Morphine, so its all good!” Well I was, so I know I’m not lying right? But the fact is sometimes, the physical differences Lupus has caused upset me. I miss looking in the mirror and liking my appearance. I’m not vain but it was hard to have my hair cut into a style I didn’t want just to disguise the hair loss. And when I stood on that stage in front of those women I had somehow lost my inner strength to not care, to rise above it. But here is the thing. I can bring it back, I can know and love me again in a second. I just have to create the right thought in my head and I’m back on track, as I was that day.
I suppose that is where I differ from so many awesome business women, in that I don’t allow a negative thought to hang around. I appreciate my brain is a powerful computer that I can reprogram so that it works in the way I want it to.
So fabulous business women (because lets be honest, you are!) here is my advice to you.
When you have to present or speak to an audience that could potentially deliver more business to you and thus it feels more important and you feel pressurised. Start with the end. Imagine yourself walking out of the room thinking “Woohoo, nailed it!” See yourself driving back down the road grinning from ear to ear singing along to the radio thinking “Got the contract!”
Practice. Okay so you know that right? But practice in front of a mirror, it will feel so odd, but right away you gain an audience. It will help you, trust me.
Now I could carry on sharing the tips for the public speaking, but the fact is THE most important tip I can share with you, is the one that you take into every aspect of your business, into every goal, ambition or obstacle and it is this;
Believe in you, trust you, like and love you and know that you are awesome. One of the biggest parts of my job as a coach to business women is helping business women appreciate just how chuffing amazing they are. When I’ve helped them appreciate how amazingly awesome they are we can quickly start achieving together because the biggest barrier has been broken.
So look in the mirror and say “Hey good looking, how shall we rule the world today?” give yourself a smile (there are physical reasons why you should do that too!) and get out there and make it happen. And when that negative thought sneaks in, kick it right back out again, because trust me, it will really impact on your success!
I hope sharing a personal story helps you and if you would like to power up your public speaking, how you deal with phone calls to get the results you want (and the meetings and the contracts) and if you would like to speak effectively everywhere, join me on Tuesday when I will be spending the whole morning with business men and women helping them do just that and more!
Learn more here – https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/powerful-communications-for-business-success-anywhere-tickets-9457133541 there are a couple of places left and it would be great to be working with you.