A business woman walks in and sits down.
This lady has never had coaching before and is clearly nervous.
Within half an hour they have told me their life story and probably every embarrassing thing that is rattling around in their head that;
- Makes them feel inadequate.
- Stops them from taking action.
- Stops them for asking for what they want.
- Makes them feel like an imposter.
- Makes them feel like a bad mum/boss/friend/partner/human.
- Impacts on what they get out of their personal and professional life.
Wind the coaching session on about 25 minutes from that moment and they are starting to really understand what is impacting on their life and not just what they could do about it but why it’s imperative they do it.
And I’ve found myself more and more noticing that so many women do this…
- They tell me they feel like a bad Mum because they shouted at their kids – I tell them about how I cleaned my son’s bathroom and left the cloths, cleaning products etc on a tray on my sons bed (including the dirt and other contents you’d find in a teens bathroom!) “That’s different” they say.
- They tell me how they feel like a failure because they failed to do something – I tell them that thanks to Lupus it’s an amazing achievement to answer an email with 48 hours. “That’s different” they say.
I could go on, however the point is that we look at other people’s mistakes, faux pas, and cock ups and we forgive them. We accept they are human and that mistakes happen.
Flip that around and look at the same mistakes, faux pas’s and cock ups and in your own life and boy can you get harsh!
If you don’t know how to fix this discrepancy that could be costing you dearly start with these thoughts;
“If I can continue to assume that I have to be perfect then what am I saying I expect from my children?”
“For what reason is it okay to make mistakes at work but not make mistakes with parent hood?”
“For what reason(s) do I expect perfection and what impact(s) is it having on me, my life and my goals?”
You see ultimately no one gets through life without making a few mistakes and as long as you keep beating yourself up about them then guess what it will do to you, your actions and your results?
And lastly aim to remember what happened in 1 area in your life on 1 day – not everyone in the world knows about it – so stop acting as if they do – it’s killing your success rate, happiness and fun!