Do you know how you open your messages on LinkedIn and increasingly on other social media platforms only to find those long war and peace intro messages?
Well, I actually replied to one….
“Can I be honest with you xxxx?
I’m not sure who advises you to write these long emails when a professional relationship has not been formed yet however it is considered very poor practice by most professionals, especially by coaches.
I’ve carried out research on this area of communication and did you know most people do not read your long message, they just block you?
Ironically if you had just “had a chat” for another few days our ability to know, like trust each other would have formed enough for you to be able to write a long message of this nature and I would have happily read every last word.
Good professionals know the importance of building good relationships and look after everyone in their network. And I would be happy to support you too and get to know your business.
It is also (if I’m really honest) rather impolite to assume that I’m rubbish at business and can’t be fully booked. In fact, I’m so fully booked I have created workshops, books and courses to help ensure I look after as many people as possible when my diary wont’ allow any more face to face coaching.
I do get great results for my clients and myself.
It is nice to meet you however I do not currently require your services, however as Founder of The Business Womans Network your services may be required by some of our members.
Best wishes and keep in touch. I look forward to building a good business relationship and hope my honesty has been received in the polite and kind wanting businesses to grow manner it was intended.
Tell me, did I get this wrong?
Interestingly our tolerance for sales conversations is very high when we’ve grown to trust the person we are talking to. In fact we actually want to know about that person and their business because as humans we benefit from being liked and being interested in others helps us to be liked.
(If you are looking to find the things that are holding you back in your career look at how you feel about speaking up for yourself. Often we hide our true feelings and the messages we want to share at work for fear of how we will be received.)
I’m not sure who is teaching people to meet new connections and give them their life story on why they will be great for your business but if you think about it, would you walk up to a stranger in the street and say “Hi, I could be great for your business, you need me in your life?” If the answer is no. And I’m guessing for most of us the answer is no, then don’t do it online.
Communication online should follow similar ethics to face to face communication, being mindful that people will struggle not to add their own beliefs, experiences and perception of whatever you are discussing in the words you write. So you need to be crystal clear on what you write.
And if you aren’t sure if it was well received, go back and ask (interestingly in coaching I see a real fear in this process. People make all manner of assumptions on what the other party will say and they usually assume what they will say at the least will be “No” and at worse something along the lines of “Go away, I hate you, you are the worse person in the world!”
Funny how our minds come up with very unhelpful perceptions of the truth isn’t it?
Can you guess how damaging our minds can be to our success?
The interesting point is that the people I do business with thanks to meeting on LinkedIn start our conversations on messenger with something usually along these lines;
“Nice to meet you. Thanks for not selling at me, what do you do?”
To the point, making it clear you would love to get to know them but aren’t going to sell at them so you would be grateful if they didn’t sell at you. And a way you go…..
More than one new connection has replied;
“Ha ha, I like it. No, I won’t be selling at you, those messages are annoying aren’t they? Does anyone read them?”
And a business relationship is born.
In this brave new, scary world more and more communication will be virtual and online. Businesses and people can thrive in this world, however you may need to challenge how you have been taught to connect, get to know and build high quality relationship that lead to personal and professional success. I’m happy to have a chat about the areas of communication and mindset anytime. So much so, here is my email address – firstname.lastname@example.org and my phone number – (44) 1206 381482. Because I love real conversations, they lead to business.