Not getting as much done as you would like?
Please don’t read another book.
Please don’t write another list.
In my experience and I’ve helped individuals, mums, CEO’s, teams of 10 and teams of 200+ to achieve more and even apps aren’t enough!
You need to go back to the beginning.
As a coach people mock me for some of the questions I ask thinking they are wishy washy, however having achieved awesome results with my clients (they do most of the work, I’m just the catalyst) these woo woo questions are the ones with the power, so for starters;
What do we stand for?
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
What will this give me?
What are my values?
How do I want to impact on the world?
What do I fear?
Can I confidently say No?
What will my actions lead to?
What are my goals?
Where will they take me?
What stays on the to do list that I never get around to?
How does that make me feel?
What to I assume will happen?
Ditch or deal with everything on your to do list.
Money making first.
And if you really want to achieve more, I share at The BWN and speaking engagements and with clients my 10 day week.
So damn powerful and makes even me achieve more. (I can’t share it here because it’s too visual to work).
And lastly if you have more than 5 things on your list of to do today, you are setting yourself up for long term failure.
There’s a ton of other things but time management and achieving big things is not rocket science. It is about understanding the power of who you are (not an author, guru or expert) and utilising that power, stepping up to the stuff that you fear and having the accountability and focus to get on with it.
I love coaching because it’s so powerful. And the silly little thoughts that crossed over your mind just now, they could hold the key to maximise the use of every hour from this moment on!
There’s more that I teach and share – communication rules and laws, boundaries, respect, open door policy and when not to. Company policy, mission and vision. So much, but this should get you and your team achieving more.
Remember if you want to achieve more you have to create space to and that means making time – time management coaching enables you and your team to do this.
It’s the weirdest thing. I’ve had 8 years of being pretty much trapped in my home due to ill health (Lupus) and for the last month I’ve been feeling really well. Not put on a fake smile and act well because people are so bored of you talking about pain and exhaustion, but genuine bouncing out of bed, looking forward to the day well.
The weird thing is that while my body is well my mind doesn’t seem to have caught up yet.
For instance I was up early to take my son to his last day of college today (that’s a sad but exciting milestone right?) and as I drove home I knew the morning was starting with a coaching session and I thought “Oh no I’m on my own all day.” (Client was only on the screen so not there in person to have a cuppa and chat with first.)
Usually if I’m coaching for 2 hours I’d need a few hours to recover. Then I could work for a couple of hours and then I’d need to rest before my children got home in the hope I might have some energy to talk to them and maybe help cook tea.
But I had to physically remind myself today “You can do more Mandie!” and so I went for a walk. 45 minutes may not seem big to you but 4346 steps is epic to me.
Usually I would even have to limit my time on the phone (pacing is not just about your physicality as I learnt the hard way – your brain uses up a lot of energy too.) But today I’ve made and had over 10 phone calls already!
This all reminds me of clients who I’ve worked with for a while and in a session they will say something and I’ll challenge them on that thought. Often it’s because they are still using the same language they used before we started working together. Not really appreciating how much has changed.
For example a client said to me “But I’m rubbish at marketing.”
“Are you?” I asked “What evidence do you have to that statement?”
They smirked at me because they realised that this wasn’t true anymore. The person they are now is very different to the one of a year ago. But that negative thought had still sneaked in.
We have to be mindful of every thought we have and ask ourselves if it is empowering us or demotivating us?
Is it moving us forward or holding us back?
But even that is not enough. You then need to take ownership for what you thought and focus on what you actually want.
I’ve started mentally noticing the little things that I’d forgotten about;
I find these and so many other things are making me grin, but there’s a but. And it’s one I didn’t think I’d ever have again.
Walking along the beach I realised that I still haven’t factored in anything in the evenings. The last time I went out at night was to End game on the 25th April, before that it was the 16th December, regular right?
The hardest thing about balancing a long term health illness is that you have to ditch so much of your life. A social life is something I know exists because I watch Facebook friends having one. But now can I have one?
I’m scared to speak these thoughts.
I even have found myself using my clients words “What if?” And unlike me, I’m not assuming it’s going to be awesome! I’ve been assuming with real terror;
Lucky for me I am uber speedy and epic at reframing. I can be in a bad/sad mood and flip to being positive/happy and ready for anything with a lightening speed thought.
So that’s what I’ve been doing;
Of them all the last one makes me hyperventilate. I’ve worked so damn hard on being happy and as well as possible despite Fibromyalgia, Lupus and a myriad of other illness and problems. Even before this mini miracle I felt truly happy and joyous with my life. This? Well this just makes me feel super human!
My friend is 94 (Sorry Irene, I told everyone your age) and she is one of my role models in life. Flying around the world visiting nephews, ski-ing (Ok just the apres ski – you can’t blame her!) and living life to the fullest. Irene summed it up today when she said “Sometimes to go forward we have to go back”. How perfect is that sentence?
I have absolute gratitude to be able to go for a walk. To be able to drive a car and work. Things I would guess that 9 years ago I didn’t really acknowledge. And having to gain a level of tenacity, determination and self belief that Iron Man would be proud of, how well set up am I for going forward?
If feeling ill I can walk 27000 steps around Disney Land Paris (okay, with enough medications in me to rival any A and E Department!) what can I achieve without the brain numbing, gut destroying, nausea inducing, sleep robbing drugs in me?
I like that I work with a coach, and I like that I can coach myself. The fear is going to be allowed to stay (just a little) why? Because it’s sensible to go a little steady. As Dinah Liversidge (Wow I love that woman!) said “When I was on the road to recovery I only walked for 10 minutes a day, and I didn’t try to push it. Go little and often to build stamina.” (Dinah is also the awesome lady that told me that to get through Lupus I’d need Cannabis and a hot tub. I got both, well the legal version of the Cannabis!
I never stop working on my emotional intelligence, beliefs and personal development, if you’d like to explore this with me, get in touch. I’m also that in love with CBD I’ve signed up with Tessellate to sell it!
A post on LinkedIn and then in a group created a lot of “Oh yes!” and “I’m so guilty of this! comments. It led to me thinking about my clients.
Already this year I’ve worked with some amazing coaching clients and because we are into February I’m starting to see people for a second time (a lot of clients like to see me every 4 to 6 weeks if we are working together long-term and not on a fear or a short term goal which we achieve so they don’t need me anymore.) And I love hearing about a client’s progress. Recently I have noticed a bit of a trend.
Not for the first time this week I’ve heard a client say, “Why did I make that so complicated!”
Because so often to achieve big in life we assume it’s got to be really tough, complicated or detailed. We think it’s got to be rocket science or brain surgery – beyond the capabilities of most of us.
So whether you are looking to;
Here’s a few tips on how to keep it simple inspired by my clients. In case this months budget doesn’t stretch to a couple of hours with me;
One client sat back, glared at me and rolled their eyes “I knew this would be hard” They said. “Well” I replied, “If you think it’s going to be hard guess what you’re going to get?” They laughed and scowled at the same time (because they knew I was right!) The fact is that before you get started assess what you think;
What ever you think will ripple though to your actions and results so choose wisely.
When you’ve finished creating a plan of action ask yourself “Can I remove something?” Be your life editor, just like a real editor who will always find something that can be cut question every action, pathway and choice. Is it really necessary and going to get to where you want to go or is it a distraction so you can feel like you got somewhere (even if you didn’t!)?
Do less. Sometimes people are shocked by how few hours I can work in a week and still achieve so much. (Okay some of that is Lupus) however ultimately, I work in a way that is so powerful that I know what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and what result I want from it. I don’t have a detailed planner, app mapping out of every detail, or chart, why? Because, well that’s the next top tip.
I’m an in the moment, live life to the fullest, go with the flow but make sure you are getting what you really want (and don’t let anything or anyone stand in the way!) kind of person. I know that I love nature and the sound of the sea instantly makes me breathe deeply and think of some of the happiest days of my life. I know what makes me happy. What makes me mad. What makes me stressy and what makes me demotivated just as well as I know what makes me get on with it. If you want to achieve more don’t jump onto the next populist band wagon on this years “Must have” way of working with this “must read” book. To truly achieve more look inside you. I know it sounds corny and from a cheesy TV ad, but hey its true. So deal with it. Literally. Stop right now and ask who am I really? When you know that you can work out the most natural way to work, think and get results. Simple right? But you will be surprised how many new clients tell me about this new trend or that book that is not working for them and yet they battle through thinking they are wrong and not the book! Not every book or trend was written for you. Well maybe Harry Potter is the exception.
Simplify your goals to mere words. My goals are researched, broken down, questioned, analysed, planned, and constantly monitored to check for results, accountability, focus and even productivity and impac ton my long term goals. But to really achieve I can tell you 3 words that sum up every thing I wish to achieve this year;
Breath Read Walk
Sounds too simple right?
However while this is simple to get to 3 words, I had 3 sentences that had all the coaching, research and back ground to ensure I’d do exactly what I would need to do. Ultimately if you can’t think of your goals in mere seconds then how aer you going to achieve them?
If you are struggling to achieve your goals, or don’t even know where to start please feel free to give me a call so we can find out if I can help you. There are many ways I can help including a confidential mastermind group that is accessible 24/7 for just £5 a month – I know you think “how can something be awesome that is that small a cost?” Right?
It’s because I genuinely care and aim to help 1 million people this year – which is why my online courses are the same price too. Simple right?
So many of us get distracted by new ideas and opportunities and what can be even more scary is we often don’t even notice that!
Clients may start coaching with me to fix a problem, grow a career or business or to build confidence however they stick around as retained clients because I keep the motivated, focused and accountable. Things that can easily fall away when we get side tracked into what looks like an opportunity too good to pass. You can learn more here and I’m always happy to have a chat.
Every year my inbox is full of questions around new year’s resolutions;
And on top of these enquiries, many of my January clients will turn up with a list of things that they want to work with me on over the coming year. Thus I know it’s a hot topic for so many people, and having achieved my goals year on year, and helped thousands to do the same here’s my quick and easy guide to New years resolutions;
Okay maybe I should elaborate on that. So here’s my REAL quick and easy guide to achieving your goals.
1.Time is a creation of humans. Animals don’t set goals, they look at the weather and notice the changing seasons and to survive and thrive they adjust. The rabbit’s fur sheds and gets thick as it picks up the signs a harsh winter is coming. The squirrel and Jay start hiding acorns in every plant pot in the garden knowing food will be in short supply soon. All things we could learn to do, okay so don’t pop around and start planting things in my garden please, but the point is, we allow ourselves to be governed by external forces and time is a powerful one.
I set my goals in August and September. Why? Because that time of year I tend to work the least and I’m likely to have a 24-day holiday – no work, no planning, no phone, no emotional intelligence work – nothing. Family, reading, painting, swimming, cycling, etc etc. I have learnt that true brain space enables so many awesome ideas to appear (and awesome opportunities seem to “magically” appear”.) But as humans we are so scared of losing out that we daren’t be off line that long. Trust me, you can and should. (With the right support and actions before!)
August breaks down into a month of reading what I fancy and not what I think will help my clients or my own emotional intelligence, professional or personal development. It’s amazing how many awesome ideas have naturally arrived like this that have inspired thousands of my audiences and clients ever since.
By the time September arrives my brain is so calm and in such a great place to be that I find that I’ve started to write a list of ideas and thoughts, and plans. Nothing is finalised. Nothing is false. Nothing is decided. I just write. Explore and think. That way in September I can use the same tools I use with my clients to work out the best possible goals for the following 12 months using all of my ideas and possible actions I created naturally.
2.And lastly why August?
Christmas is a bad time to set goals. It’s a false, Disney Land, Heroes, Magical, Faith, abundance, indulgence and belief time. No matter how bad Christmas was (Or has been in the past) at some stage in the past Christmas has held magic for you;
Add the feel good factor, the mountain of food, the time with those you love, doing what you want and the wrapped up walks, your view of the world can get a little out of perspective in the holidays. I often hear clients say “Why can’t I be that happy all of the time!” And then we discover that before we start building empires or climbing career ladders what they really want is happiness.
And that my friend is accessible today, no matter what life looks like. Get back to the 9 to 5. School runs. Commuters hell. Bills. Chores and daily life and suddenly you can feel like you’ve never had a holiday!
ACTION; Compare how you felt on the 24th of December to say the 5th of January or the 21st of January? All the same? If not then now is definitely not the time to set goals.
3.Too many people – lastly January is not a good time to set goals because there are too many people about. Parties, long meals, games, gatherings and TV – mean we are a wash with so many people’s ideas and views. If you are looking to achieve big or overcome adversity the answers will never start with other people.
A perfect example occurred only yesterday when I went for a walk on the beach and phoned to see if my nephews would like to join me. My sister said “The car says it’s 2 degrees out there and the weather man said it’s ‘going to be bitterly’” Luckily for me I don’t watch the news a lot (Have a listen of the terminology weather men use. They now add emotion to weather.
Can rain be grim? Or is it a view of it?
Can it be miserable out there? Or can it be wet/dark/windy?
Be aware of what you hear and if it has any impact on you.
My sister was allowing a car and a weatherman to dictate if she should walk on the beach! As it was I saw the most stunning huge red/pink sunset over the water and I was of only 2 people that got to enjoy it! Okay me and my dog had coats on that would keep us warm on an Arctic adventure but it was a beautiful walk. One I will treasure for life.
I could have missed that if I’d let other people’s views impact on my actions. Okay that’s a pretty tame example, however I hear this kind of external comment from clients all of the time. And it is only by working with their coach they are able to see how limiting other people can become in your own head. Christmas is a time traditionally of little brain space and a lot of talk. So do question if you are being manipulated by other people?
Which leads us on to…
4.Wherever you go, wherever you are right now someone is attempting to control you. Scary right. Don’t panic, it’s not aliens or a government plan to inject you wit Nano technology, however words and opinions are everywhere. Marketing is worth billions to economies around the world. It enables people to be manipulated, encouraged, inspired (you choose the word) into buying everything and anything – watches, log burners, phones, vegan food, cars, clothes, holidays. Everything! World economies rely on the population buying what they see.
And while we all know this, it can mean that we find ourselves working towards goals that aren’t even ours. While maybe you don’t want a giant behemoth 4 x 4, it’s highly likely elements of the lifestyle the advertisers created you felt something for.
ACTION; Think of the adverts that pop up that you notice. Is there a reoccurring theme? An emotion they create?
It’s not a bad thing to note, however be aware of why you notice it and how it makes you feel. (These can be good indicators to some of the drivers in your mind – and they are always great to know.) So question your desires, your goals, your resolutions, your ambitions. We all know the stats on gym membership, with research saying that those starting a fitness regime over 50% will quit within 6 months, so look behind the ads, and below the belly and really understand your motivation for wanting to do it.
Like any goal it has to be from the inside, with the right powerful motivators, drivers, beliefs and plans of action. And I’ve rarely seen them created after a blow out Christmas, so whether it’s a healthier body, bank account or social life – know what drove you to the goal/resolution.
So lastly a bit of honestly. If I set my goals in August/September how am I doing?
Before I tell you how I’m doing I will share a brief sneak into how I set my goals/resolutions. And that is to;
I will share a couple of my goal words as examples (I won’t share my goals, actions, strategies, plans, tools etc – that’s half a dozen blogs in itself!) but just so you can get the idea;
Walk Breath Read
These may seem like 3 words to you, however for me they are months of planning, action and already some results that even I think “Wow, that’s just awesome!”
Keeping your goals simple works for so many reasons, not least because life can get in the way. For me I’ve realised that my year doesn’t run January to December, my year runs September to August. In this way I’m on my own agenda, removing so many of the elements that stop us from achieving. It could be that you discover that you need to reinvent your year so that you can optimise the results you get too.
Do let me know your thoughts and if you are on my confidential mastermind group or are a client share how I can help further and I promise to do all I can. I often hear people say things like;
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that because you deserve it or because 2018 was awful that this year will be any different unless you take some serious action!
Okay I doubt a single coaching client comes to me and says “Mandie can you stop the racing thoughts, its like there’s a crowd in here!” However whether it’s coaching someone to over come a life long fear, helping them deal with an challenging team member, build their confidence, process adversity and keep going or achieve a lifetime ambition, most sessions start with the client speaking non stop for at least 10 minutes (usally 20 minutes at least!) as they empty out in front of me their mind and every thought they are attempting to process and deal with. Here for Life hack I look at some of the top ideas that I use to help people when their minds seem to race ahead with a million thoughts, never giving you time to process anything or have some brain space.
We also look at;
To read the full story head over to Lifehack. And if you would love for me to write something personal for you, just let me know either in an email or through my social media.
I hope you are having a great week and if I can help, I love that phone ringing, no seriously feel free to ring me.
I’m often asked if I set goals and in January I’m inundated with questions about new year resolutions.
Should I set them? Shouldn’t I?
What should they look like? How should I word them? Do I need to create micro actions? Do I have to get up early? Do I have to rewrite my life?
I think that part of this can be impacted on by the fact that whereas years ago in the workplace we’d have 5 minutes chat on the way to the coffee machine now we know what people are thinking, planning and coveting 24/7 thanks to our interconnected world. Thus we can’t help but compare and contrast ourselves to others.
Great in some ways, a killer to happiness and success in others.
So with January rattling on, what do I tell people about New Years Resolutions?
It’s down to the individual. And while some can make it work, for the majority it sets up 2018 with shortcut to failure. While some have the character that means they create the passion and will achieve it no matter what, and others can create a positive addiction to a result. Many have doubts and fears about capabilities, results and even confidence can take a death defying jump off a cliff. So personally I would never set a goal according to a date. It’s ludicrous.
However, I do perform certain actions towards the end of the year. You see weirdly for me and my partner we have never seen the year as January to December (there are currently over 40 calendars in the world. With our knack for altering our year and our months going back through civilisations – any chance to make it easier to achieve right?) For me and my Hubby we have always seen the start of the new year as September, when we return from our holidays. Refreshed. Relaxed. Brain recharged. Body ready for anything. And lots of ideas and plans naturally make their way to the forefront of our minds. In this way, we find we “naturally” get stuff done in the Autumn and into the new year, without a lot of big pressure or preplanning. All that was naturally done over a glass of local wine in the South of France on a beach!
So the end of the calendar year is a great chance to reassess things;
What is working?
What do I need to change to get the results we/I want/need?
How are my actions impacting on our long-term goals?
What needs to change?
These are just some of the questions we answer to check against our desired goals in business and life. January then is my first marker to how I’m getting on. And I ask additional questions such as;
Do I feel the same level of passion for what I do?
Do I need to change what I do or how I do it?
Are my goals still stretching me?
Are comfort zones developing?
What fears are lurking that could impact on my growth?
Do I need to set new or additional actions?
Do I need to set new or additional goals?
This process often throws up little actions that can tune up the goal engine that gets me to where I want to go. It stops me from stagnating, it ensures I challenge myself and always look the right distance into the future. And for me rather importantly it ensures I stay positive. Being self-employed is epic, however, working in an office with a dog at your feet and only seeing clients via a computer screen may make lots of clients happy and successful and the bank account healthy, yet it does little for a healthy mind, so one of my personal goals that I’m happy to share with you is that I will be networking more in 2018. Not only is it great fun, delivers new opportunities and clients, for me personally most importantly it protects my mental well being.
You see a big reason we fail in our goals and new year resolutions is we just don’t work with what we’ve got. We look around at everyone else and think “I should be in the gym” “I should crave world domination” “I should want to be on TV”, etc, etc, etc and this means we stop listening to the values and passions that mattter to us and if you really want success and to achieve in 2018, start by asking these questions. Honestly and openly, what do you really want?
Now let’s get on with achieving it. Exciting isn’t it!
It all started with a passion for helping people to achieve their biggest and wildest dreams. And it grew into a realisation that I could write(because let’s face it if you want to succeed in the 21st century then you have to get your head around digital marketing) and then the next thing I know I’m being asked to write a book for the UK’s leading non fiction publishers. It is quite honestly the biggest ambition of my life.
To have Stephen Fry say I was a great writer made me grin for a week, okay so it still makes me grin. But to get that phone call saying “Mandie would you write a book for Pearson’s?” was the biggest, maddest, wildest dream of my life.
And now the press are loving the story and here is the first of the articles. There will be many more, and so far every journalist has wanted to talk about the book and my journey in a different way. I could tell you about how I nearly died and wanted to sue the pharmaceutical company when I didn’t die and woke up the next day, I could tell you how I won an award sat on the sofa or was named one of the UK’s magazine’s Woman’s Own Inspirational Women of Year, I could tell you about The Business Womans Network, MP’s and international speakers loving my work or taking mangos to the home office, but hey let’s see what articles and pictures they print in the coming weeks.
Thank you must also go to Voom Media and Vanessa Moon (https://www.facebook.com/VoomMedia) I used to do all my own PR until this year, when I saw the awesomeness of this company and now work side by side with Voom Media and we haven’t falling a step out. Me and The Business Womans Network are in the press just as much as ever!
Well with a book getting 5 star reviews, the best views in London for our book launch, and endorsements with top names in business and the news my publishers have just announced I’ve just made Vanessa’s job that bit easier too!
To buy your copy visit Amazon or http://www.mandieholgate.co.uk/books
I have just started a conversation on social media with a woman who is setting up her own business in a creative industry.
Her big dream is to turn her passion and love for art into a business.
I’ve met many people over the last few months with similar goals.
So here is my top 15 guide to success for creative businesses;
(There are plenty of others and social media is a constantly evolving monster so be prepared to explore, trial and play with it. So no matter what you can stay current and create an effective marketing strategy organically.)