Not the best headline right?
But it got your attention no doubt!
The fact is we all have days where we actually say this kind of thing to ourselves.
We look in the mirror and we berate our appearance, we moan at our stomach’s, our thighs or our wrinkles. Now let me ask you this, “Is that likely to power up your day or rob you of your inner strength, belief and confidence?
And now with my business coach wanting more success for you hat on What does that do to your success rate? To your ability to pick up the phone and ask for the sale? To present and win that contract? To get out there and make it happen?
I say this because this week I shared with a vibrant, vivacious, professional business woman who during our session confessed to feeling like she was a “bit of a fraud” and so when the coaching session had finished, (I never interrupt a clients thoughts with my own, I only share after the session if they wish me to) I shared with her something rather personal.
I told her how I had just stood up in front of a room full of business women and I said I knew to those business women I’m a professional natural public speaker who oozes confidence. I know those business women see me that way because many come up to me after a public speaking engagement and say “I wish I could stand up there and be a natural like you.” I told this business woman how on this occasion I had to employ my own public speaking tricks to get me through it. This lady had been in the audience and she looked shocked. “Really?” she said. “You!” It shocked her that I could feel anything other than confident and successful. So I shared with her what I share with you now and it is personal, but I share so that you can see that it effects every single woman. From the Mum at the school gate and the Home Secretary to the business women about to present;
I have Lupus and its a balancing act to look after my health, the medicines and also ignore it all and get on with my wonderful life. My theory is I’m having far too much fun to pay attention to an illness. But it can be a bit tough when your hairs falling out, your face turns into a balloon and you struggle with a ton of rather un fun side effects from the drugs and Lupus. Most of the time I smile and say “Hey I’m not stuck in bed on Morphine, so its all good!” Well I was, so I know I’m not lying right? But the fact is sometimes, the physical differences Lupus has caused upset me. I miss looking in the mirror and liking my appearance. I’m not vain but it was hard to have my hair cut into a style I didn’t want just to disguise the hair loss. And when I stood on that stage in front of those women I had somehow lost my inner strength to not care, to rise above it. But here is the thing. I can bring it back, I can know and love me again in a second. I just have to create the right thought in my head and I’m back on track, as I was that day.
I suppose that is where I differ from so many awesome business women, in that I don’t allow a negative thought to hang around. I appreciate my brain is a powerful computer that I can reprogram so that it works in the way I want it to.
So fabulous business women (because lets be honest, you are!) here is my advice to you.
When you have to present or speak to an audience that could potentially deliver more business to you and thus it feels more important and you feel pressurised. Start with the end. Imagine yourself walking out of the room thinking “Woohoo, nailed it!” See yourself driving back down the road grinning from ear to ear singing along to the radio thinking “Got the contract!”
Practice. Okay so you know that right? But practice in front of a mirror, it will feel so odd, but right away you gain an audience. It will help you, trust me.
Now I could carry on sharing the tips for the public speaking, but the fact is THE most important tip I can share with you, is the one that you take into every aspect of your business, into every goal, ambition or obstacle and it is this;
Believe in you, trust you, like and love you and know that you are awesome. One of the biggest parts of my job as a coach to business women is helping business women appreciate just how chuffing amazing they are. When I’ve helped them appreciate how amazingly awesome they are we can quickly start achieving together because the biggest barrier has been broken.
So look in the mirror and say “Hey good looking, how shall we rule the world today?” give yourself a smile (there are physical reasons why you should do that too!) and get out there and make it happen. And when that negative thought sneaks in, kick it right back out again, because trust me, it will really impact on your success!
I hope sharing a personal story helps you and if you would like to power up your public speaking, how you deal with phone calls to get the results you want (and the meetings and the contracts) and if you would like to speak effectively everywhere, join me on Tuesday when I will be spending the whole morning with business men and women helping them do just that and more!
Learn more here – https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/powerful-communications-for-business-success-anywhere-tickets-9457133541 there are a couple of places left and it would be great to be working with you.
On the school run today, my daughter and I got chatting about the work she has to complete.
She does tutoring and has school homework, as well as other things to prepare for different clubs she likes to do. I know that naturally (looking at this mornings progress!) that she will gravitate to doing the prep for her clubs rather than her tutoring, and lets be honest us busy business women can slip into the same kind of patterns can’t we?
Its all too easy to do the things that are easy. To do the things we enjoy doing, but how do you take action (that gets results) on things you know are going to be tough, challenging or require more effort than normal?
Here’s the top tip’s I shared with my daughter to take action (even when you don’t want to);
(And for the record she is sat next to me taking targeted action – so I know these work!)
Firstly power up your reason why – It’s not good enough to know it needs to happen, and you are the one that needs to do it. Find your gut instinct, your deep to the core of your being reason why its got to happen and you’re the one that’s go to do it. And when you know that….
Visualise the targeted action working – Even if you don’t know how you are going to get the job done, visualise, see, hear, feel that it has worked. See yourself sat there at the end of the completed task, thinking “Yes, I did it!”
My daughter struggles to not get distracted (and I’m not saying us business women ever suffer from that right?) If you find that’s you too, then once you have your clear end result visualised, ask yourself what needs to happen for me to get that result? Write a list. Talk it through out loud to another person or even to yourself to really get the answers you need.
Reward yourself – If my daughter gets her work done tonight, I’ve promised I will take her to see her Grandparents tomorrow for a play date. Dad is an even bigger kid than me so it will be a great time for us all. (Wow, I think that’s making me work harder too. What an added bonus!) How will you reward yourself for your success?
The right environment for the right action – I can work anywhere. But my daughter is not like that. So she has kept her school uniform on. As she pointed out “Mummy these are my work clothes and if I stay in these clothes I will work as hard as I do at school.” She has also chose to sit in the office with me, so that she is in my work environment and rely on me to spur her on. Which leads me on to my last top tip….
Who will motivate you into action? I know that posting it on Twitter or Facebook will make me take action. Because as far as I’m concerned my word is my honour. Credibility is critically important to business women and so if I tell you I’m going to do something on social media and I don’t I’ve undermined me. Now I could never let THAT happen! Thus action happens. What and / or whom would motivate you?
And if you don’t know. Just post your “AAAAA I’m not motivated” Posts to my Facebook page and I will give you the rocket of motivation you need. Click here to get to my Facebook and get movitated