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Week 3 – How is it going?

How is it going is my first question?

Think back over the action you have taken over this past week and get into the habit of asking yourself every week;

  • What has worked?
  • What needs tweaking?
  • What was a failure (Remember it is only a failure if you do it all again the same way and learnt nothing!)
  • What will I replicate?

Promise me that you will answer these questions before you read on!

So this week before I move onto looking at how we get you achieving more in your business, we need to address an area that may seem a little bit girlie or fluffy and unnecessary to address.

But in my experience when this is dealt with true success becomes rocketed!

Now, who wouldn’t want that?

You see in my experience of coaching business women, us businesswomen have a habit of getting to a certain level of success and then without even realising it we start to scupper and undermine our own success. And the reason that can happen is because of our beliefs and our experiences that we are choosing to hang on to are not powering up and motivating us forward, they are doing their best to demotivate you and pull you back down again.

Ever had that realisation that things are going really well and then you felt yourself getting cold feet and fearful that everyone can see you and are waiting for you to make mistakes?

Ever noticed that if you are good at something you assume that everyone else is just as capable as you and you are not something special, whereas on the other hand if you are not good at something you assume you are the only one and everyone else is a true master at it?

Why are business women so hard on themselves?

The fact is you have got to feel like Mrs Positivity on the inside so that when you have a tough day when something doesn’t work out you keep powering on to your goals and ambitions – undeterred because you know how awesome you are.

Now again this may sound girlie but if you don’t find that inner awesomeness then you are allowing success to get knocked and battered.

So here are some questions to ask yourself and answer for this week;

(Ideally pen and paper are in hand or you are going to write your thoughts in this very course since you’ve already printed this and are busy highlighting the bits that really resonate with you? Remember that when you write things down your brain is getting a second chance to process the commands you are giving it!)

  • What negative beliefs do you hold about yourself? About your capabilities?
  • Do you feel that these are powering up your success or undermining what you are capable of?
  • What do you see red at? (Coach’s call these Hot Buttons. When someone sees a golden opportunity in say Public speaking or an Expo do you see opportunities or do you see panic and fear?
  • What could have caused the opposite response to another businesswoman?
  • If you were to imagine the ideal belief and outcome about an opportunity that say someone you admire was to come across what would they choose to be thinking?, What would you choose to think?

And that leads me on to, what are you scared of?

Be honest now. Is public speaking a pet hate, can you not stand picking up the phone, do you hide behind email? Knowing what fears you hold both personally and professionally allows you to accept them. As you accept them you can make the choice to either allow them to be or ask yourself “If I allow that fear to remain what am I agreeing to miss out on?”

(That is a question that always gets my clients really thinking!)

The first step in dealing with fear is in accepting it exists. Now don’t start being harsh with yourself. Remember you are going to be Mrs Awesome from today on so here is a powerful positive tip. From now on only say what you would say to your reflection. Or put it another way, would you say it to your best friend or someone you truly love? Because if the answer is no, what is that going to do for your business success?

As I mentioned above we are all guilty of making assumptions what assumptions are you making? This will come again in a later week in a different context. So I will use my favourite saying here – “When we assume we make an Ass out of U and Me!” so stop doing it. Ask yourself the valid questions, okay so they may be tough questions but what assumptions are you making about yourself, your business, your capabilities your success? You don’t need to know the answers, just start asking the questions.

When you have answered these I want you to consider this. It’s called the negative and positive spiral.

I want you to take a belief or negativity from your life and I want you to role play it, for instance;

I have a bad phone call.

Don’t get to get my viewpoint across

Feel unappreciated and that leads to me feeling demotivated.

I can’t concentrate and I end up procrastinating.

I’m not doing what I should be.

I feel bad

I feel like I’ve failed today.

I don’t feel like that job is ever going to get off my desk.

I’m going to go and have some chocolate, kick the cat and give up for the day!

Get the idea? Really live how a negative belief impacts on your day.

Now play “The What If Game”. Let’s use my above example again;

I have a bad phone call.

Don’t get to get my viewpoint across.

Write an email outlining why I am concerned. Don’t send it just having my thought processes wrote down is enough for now.

My mind feels clear.

I’ve cleared my mind so that I can concentrate on the tasks that need to be completed today.

I feel motivated and ready for another busy day tomorrow.

Okay, so I may still have the chocolate to celebrate!

This is just one example, however, my clients and I often do the Negative

Negative spiral MH impact on success

spiral game because it allows you to think about the process that you end up going through. So you have a choice to continue going down that spiral path or to redirect, and that starts with one thought. What thought will start you on the path way back up to positivity?

Here you can see another example of a negative spiral and how it impacts on that person.

So let’s go back over the questions you have posed yourself today. Why have I asked you to ask these?

Let’s recap. I see business women undermine their own success time and time again, Start to really visualise yourself being a true success. You don’t need to see the details (you are going to love next week for that!) just feel the feelings of true success. How proud you are of yourself. How happy it makes you.

Now think about your current beliefs, values and experiences that have created the business woman you are. And be honest with yourself about the biggest negative belief you hold.

Now use the negative spiral to reframe it.

Start to look in that mirror and only see someone you truly respect and admire. You wouldn’t berate your best mate for a spot or hair out of place, so stop doing it to yourself. Because you are undermining yourself!

Now become more aware of the questions we posed here and feel free to share your thoughts on my social media if you are feeling brave. You can access all of my social media on the homepage of this site.

This course can be incredibly powerful but only if you take action and be honest with yourself. So you have only your negativity, your limiting beliefs, your fear and your obstacles to success to lose – how cool could that be?

Next week, you are going to love it. We get down to the big stuff. Your big Plan, your big goals, ambitions and aims for your success – just a thought to put on the back burner!

Happy Business and here’s to your growing success,

Best wishes

Mandie

Please note that the content of this course is not to be shared. As you can imagine this content is worth a lot of money and I share it with you because I want to power up your success and I know if you take the actions I suggest you will love it. I share plenty for free on my social media.

All rights reserved Mandieholgate ©2018

  • November 15, 2016